The Demons inside
by SiennaS
Summary: When Shield member Amber star finds herself smack in the biggest controversy of her life she falls back into old destructive habits. Can Seth and the team save Amber before she self destructs or will the demise of the shield also mean Amber's demise? Sequel to Nefarious Intentions (previously titles Insidious Obsession). Takes place after Believe in Miracles
1. Chapter 1

_So my edits didn't take nearly as long as I expected. Plus I had an idea for another Amber/Seth story that I've been working on. This one is coming together a lot slower than my Lexi/Roman story Believe in Miracles, which just poured from me like a broken faucet. So anyway, this one will go a lot slower than the previous story. It's also a lot darker in theme, but hopefully you'll still enjoy it. Now on to Amber and Seth..._

* * *

Chapter 1

_"We knew it was coming, King," Michael Cole's voice carried through the television screen. _

_"That's right, Michael. The cracks have been forming for months. It was just a matter of time before The Shield imploded."_

_While the commentators spoke, inside the ring Dean and Roman stood toe to toe, yelling at each other. In his quest to take out Daniel Bryan, Dean accidentally struck Seth, who now lay disoriented outside the ring and Roman had come unglued._

_Daniel Bryan and his partners the Usos huddled in their corner of the ring, watching with curiosity and confusion as The Shield members barked at each other. Even the crowd was unusually quiet as they watched with morbid curiosity while tempers built. Everyone could feel it coming, knew it was just a matter of moments before detonation. _

_The men played their parts well, as their tones escalated and a shoving match began. Then she was on the screen, running toward the ring. Amber rushed past where Seth was just coming around and slid beneath the ropes. Gracefully, she popped to her feet and smoothly slid between the two men._

_She could still remember every word that was said._

_With her back to Dean, Amber placed her hands on Roman's chest and shoved with all her might. "Back off," she yelled and watched shock lite in the big man's eyes. _

_"This doesn't concern you," Roman shouted. "You need to move before you accidentally get hurt."_

_Seth rolled into the ring, pushed to his unsteady feet, and stepped up next to Roman. "Honey, Roman's right, you need to move."_

_Doing her best to stay in character, Amber shook her head "I'm not going anywhere until you guys stop fighting." She glanced over her shoulder at Dean. "Have you forgotten we're a team? Have you all forgotten what we stand for?"_

_Roman shook his head. "If anyone has forgotten we're a team its Dean."_

_"You're just jealous," Dean spat from behind Amber. "I've been carrying both your asses for months. You both wish you were half as good as me."_

_Roman and Seth exchanged a quick look, then everything became a blur as Seth wrapped his arms around Amber, yanked her out of the way while Roman began pounding on Dean. Following the script, she screamed and yelled and, caught in the heat of the moment, slapped Seth, who apparently stunned by her reaction, released her. _

_Amber scrambled back to where Dean lay curled in a ball, protecting his head as Roman kicked at him. Risking getting kicked, Amber jumped between the men. "Stop!" she yelled. "Just stop. Go away."_

_Roman pulled back and exchanged confused glances with Seth, but neither man moved._

_"Just get the hell out of here." She waved them off, despite the fact that inside her heart was breaking._

_Roman raked a hand through his hair then shook his head as Seth mumbled something in his ear. Amber turned and dropped to her knees to check on Dean. _

_"Amber." She felt Seth's hand on her shoulder and despite wanting to turn to him, shook it off instead. A moment later Seth and Roman slid from the ring, hopped the barriers and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Dean laying in the ring with Amber. _

_"I think," JBL nearly whispered into his microphone, "We just witnessed the end of The Shield."_

Amber's stomach twisted and turned as she watched a commercial for coffee pop onto the screen. Taping that episode of Smackdown had been the single hardest thing she'd had to do in her career to date. For weeks leading up to The Shield's demise she'd fought with a nervous stomach and her conscious. With Lexi still on maternity leave, Amber had no one to really turn to for support. Oh sure she had Seth, but he'd viewed the situation differently and all but dismissed her concerns.

On several occasions, Amber had tried to talk things over with Zoe, but Dean's girlfriend was part of management and simply didn't understand Amber's feelings. Lexi would have understood. Amber actually found herself musing on more than one occasion how this must have been exactly how Lexi felt when management tried the breakup angle with her several months ago..

Except when they'd tried this angle with Lexi, she'd been five months pregnant and the stress had nearly cost her and Roman their baby. Thankfully, out of concern for the baby's health, management had cut the angle and the team went on to survive for another seven months.

As a unit they'd made two full years together. Now it was over and that knowledge left Amber less than certain about her future. While she and Dean had remained heels, by walking away, Roman and Seth's face turn was complete. Of course thanks to his real life romance with Lexi, Roman was already over with the fans. That love affair was only solidified when Lexi recently tweeted pictures of Roman asleep in a recliner, cradling their baby girl on his chest.

Wanting to capitalize on that momentum, management begun to make big plans for the big Samoan and, from the rumors Amber was now hearing, apparently Seth too.

With the last name Hart, Lexi was already a star and the darling of the WWE. When she returned in two weeks, she would do so no longer as a member of The Shield, but as a returning member of The Hart Dynasty.

Then there was Dean. He'd always been a heel and played the role to perfection, So it had only made sense for him to remain that way. With his talent both in the ring and on the microphone, and given enough time and push, she could picture him becoming another Randy Orton.

Which only left Amber. Where did this demise of The Shield leave her? She pushed up from the small couch in her hotel room, crossed to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of soda.

When she'd joined the WWE a year and a half earlier she'd been lucky enough to be mentored by Lexi, but now...she was on her own. She wasn't a legacy like Lexi or Tamina or Natalya. She wasn't special like the Bella Twins. She was just another blonde Diva, in the long line of blonde Divas. At least Summer Rae could dance. The only thing Amber had going for her was being a member of The Shield. With it's destruction so went the one thing that made her stand out.

She returned to her small couch inside her hotel room just as the show resumed. It was of the match between Kofi vs Miz, but she wasn't really paying any attention now. Her mind churned, replying the events from Tuesday, yet again. Seth would be back soon, she considered as she twisted off the cap. He and the boys had performed at a house show and were then going out for a celebratory beer. Since she wasn't on the card, she'd opted to stay at the hotel and watch Smackdown.

When she and Dean eventually returned to the locker room on Tuesday, she'd found Roman and Seth waiting. She must have looked as bad as she felt, because Seth immediately pulled her into a hug, holding her tight against his chest. "It's okay," he'd whispered even as Roman and Dean hooked hands and chest bumped. "I know that wasn't easy for you, but you did great." Despite the warmth of Seth's embrace and the soothing words he showered over her, she'd felt hollow inside, empty, as if a part of her had died in that ring right along side their team.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Amber slept in fits and spurts until finally she simply gave up. Careful not to wake Seth, she slipped from the bed, grabbed one of his t-shirts, pulled it over her head and quietly stepped onto their hotel room balcony. The crisp air hit her square in the face and instantly chilled her toes. Darkness bathed her surroundings with only the faint glow of the parking lot security lights providing any illumination. It appeared that in the quiet of the night, even nature continued to sleep.

Amber eased into a chair, and pulled her knees to her chest as she let the cool air infuse her. For the hundredth time since it happened, she played back the events from Tuesday night. It wasn't so much they words they'd said, or what she'd done in the ring that haunted her. It was the memories of the fans she couldn't shake. The stunned looks on their faces seemed to be burned into her memory for life, leaving her with a new found guilt she couldn't ignore.

Oh sure she was used to them booing her. She was, after all a member of The Shield, or at least she had been, and that meant being on the wrong side with the fans. She'd known going in that she was a heel, which made receiving those boos an honor. It meant she was doing her job right. However, the chiding she'd received Tuesday night was different. The way they looked at her, as if she'd just committed the biggest sin on earth by not taking Seth and Roman's side, caused pain and guilt to course through her. She was no longer just a heel, she was evil in the eyes of the WWE Universe. Only they didn't understand, she'd hadn't had a choice.

They hadn't just booed and hissed at her when she helped Dean from the ring. They'd called her a traitor, a cheater, and names too horrible for her mind to focus on. The WWE Universe now hated her for the choice she made, the choice that hadn't actually been hers to make.

A thin layer of gold appeared near the horizon, signaling the start of a new day. Amber's stomach churned as worry about what exactly this day would hold, took over. After the taping on Tuesday, whether intentional or not, management had let her ride. No directions No contact. No scheduled matches. It was as if she'd dropped off the planet over night. Unfortunately, the fans hadn't forgotten and they'd taken to Facebook, Twitter and Tout with their opinions.

Today though. Today she and Dean had a scheduled meeting with the creative team. She, Seth, Roman and Dean would rise early, pack up and make the drive from Raleigh to Columbia for a Saturday night house show. Once there, she'd learn of her fate.

Streaks of pink and purple joined the layer of gold as the sun slowly inched its way into the sky. It wouldn't be much longer before the boys woke. Amber closed her eyes as she sucked in a shaky breath. If they were bothered by the breakup, they certainly weren't showing it. They'd laughed and joked last night as if the end of The Shield had never happened.

She couldn't quite fathom their attitudes, but then she suspected that the plan from the very beginning would have been for them to eventually separate. After all, they couldn't very well become the superstars they deserved to be by staying a stable. Yes, there was power in numbers and they'd fed off each other to raise their own stock with the company, but ultimately every great superstar ventured out on his own.

She thought about Shawn Michaels and Triple H and how they'd used DX to help propel their careers. Then there was Cody Rhodes and Randy Orton. Being members of Legacy had launched them into WWE stardom. Then there was Lexi, who had used being a member of the Hart Dynasty to slingshot herself into the stratosphere. It only made sense that the boys would be excited about their futures as singles stars.

Too bad she couldn't find that same enthusiasm. It was fear, she told herself. Fear of the unknown that had her heart in her throat and her second guessing every thought and emotion.. Being safely ensconced inside the biggest stable in recent memory provided her with a certain amount of respect and prestige. Neither was something she felt she'd ever truly earned. Being on her own mean exposing her faults and weaknesses. Being on her own meant looking in the mirror and facing the cold, ugly truth.

"Hey," Seth's voice drifted over her and she glanced toward the balcony door. Barefoot and dressed in only a pair of black sweatpants, Seth stood in the doorway, his hair mussed from sleep, his eyes only half open. "What are you going out here?"

Amber shook her head as she worked to find her voice and prayed it didn't sound as weak and vulnerable as she felt. "I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to wake you."

He crossed to her now, and knelt next to her chair. Concern lit in his sleep filled eyes as he lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. "You haven't slept well all week," he all but whispered. "Want to talk about it?"

She shook her head. Nothing he would say or do could change what was already done. The wheels were already in motion, grinding out her new destiny...whatever that might be. So what point was there in bringing it up? "You can't do anything about it."

"Maybe not, but it might make you feel better just to get it off your chest," he countered.

She lifted a hand, placed it over Seth's as she stared into his loving gaze. Sometimes she still wondered just how she'd gotten so lucky to be the one on the receiving end of his love. "I know you want to try and fix all my problems," she whispered. "But this one I'm going to have to work out on my own."

After a moment he nodded, then, holding her in place, he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Just remember, you're not alone. I'm here when you're ready to talk."

She gave him a small smile. God she loved him so much. "I know." For the first time that morning she noticed the birds singing and the sounds of life coming from the parking lot several floors below. Blue now inched across the sky, slowly pushing out the golds and pinks from earlier. "What time is it?"

"The bedside clock said a quarter of six when I woke. So probably somewhere around six am now."

On a sigh, she pushed up from the chair. "We need to get moving."

Before she could walk past him, Seth snared her by the waist. She turned in his arms, looked up at him and found love staring back. "I love you, Amber. Don't shut me out, okay?"

She could only nod as emotion welled in her throat. Would he understand that depending on what creative came up with, she just might needed to shut him out in order to protect him from what was about to come her way?

* * *

Seth glanced over at Amber as she dozed against the car window. He'd noted her somber demeanor and the dark circles under her eyes and despite her assurances that she was fine, he was worried.

"Is Amber okay," Roman glanced in the rear view mirror at Seth.

"Yeah," Dean added from the passenger seat. "She's not acting herself."

"I know." Seth raked a hand through his hair, then worked to reset his ponytail when he realized he'd wrecked it. "I think this Shield break up has her upset, but she won't talk to me about it."

"She's never been one to share her feelings easily," Roman observed.

Dean nodded. "Kinda makes her a lot like me in that respect." He turned to Seth. "You want me to try and talk to her?"

Seth glanced over to where she slept. It hurt him that she couldn't or wouldn't bring herself to talk to him. Still, having her confide in Dean would at least get whatever was bothering her out in the open. Until they all knew what was running through that head of hers they couldn't do anything about it. "Yeah," he finally said on a sigh. "Go ahead and give it a shot."

"You know," Roman began. "Lexi will be back in less than two weeks. Maybe she can get through to Amber."

Seth nodded. Since Amber arrived in the WWE she and Lexi had become best friends. Surly Lexi could reach her. "Yeah, maybe." He looked back at Amber who now slowly began to stir. He hoped someone would be able to get through to her before whatever ugliness running through her mind resulted in catastrophe.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Amber sat across from Stephanie and the creative time and watched what remained of her career spiral right into the toilet. A valet? They wanted her to be a fucking valet for Dean? She glanced at Dean who sat next to her, but had remained silent through the entire conversation. By the look on his face he was as shocked as she, only it appeared he wasn't going to voice his opinion on the subject. Silence was a rare occurrence for Dean and only served to piss her off more. Why now was he deciding to clam up? Amber lifted a hand to stop one of the writers from talking. "I don't understand. Why do I need to be a valet for Dean?"

Stephanie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Are you really that dense, Amber?"

She hated when management felt the need to talk down to it's employees. Like it made them any more personable or easier to be respected. The only thing it served to do was fuel Amber's anger. "I guess I am," she spat. "So why don't you explain it to me?"

"You picked sides the other night," Stephanie said slowly. "You chose Dean over Seth."

Amber arched a brow. Was she fucking kidding with this condescending attitude? "Because you made me," she argued. "You pushed me into that angle."

"Regardless." Stephanie leaned back and waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss Amber's point. "As far as the WWE Universe is concerned, the moment Seth left you in the ring with Dean, your relationship with him was over. Whether you wanted to or not, you chose sides and the fans are going to expect you to be Dean's girl now."

Amber's eyes widened as she realized exactly where this storyline was going. Horror streaked through her at the idea they were proposing. "But Seth and I are still together in real life."

"I know," Stephanie said, her voice flat and unapologetic. "That is unfortunate...for you I mean, because this storyline may take a toll on your relationship with Seth." Stephanie shrugged. "Especially since we will be expecting you to really sell this relationship angle with Dean."

Awareness skittered up her spine and Amber narrowed her gaze at Stephanie. "What do you mean sell the relationship?"

"I mean," Stephanie replied. "That you two need to get close on screen. You need to make the WWE Universe believe you're a couple and that requires doing everything couples do, including kiss." Stephanie glanced at her nails. "I guess you'll get to see just how strong your relationship with Seth really is, because this storyline is going forward, regardless of personal feelings."

"But-" Sickness churned in the pit of Amber's stomach as she scrambled for a plausible reason not to move forward with the angle. They couldn't do this to her.

Stephanie shook her head. "This isn't up for debate, Amber. With Natalya, Summer Rae and Rosa, we already have three blond Divas in the division. We don't need another." She glanced at the head writer then back to Amber. "Don't get me wrong. You're a solid Diva, but the ugly reality is that without The Shield backing you, you're nothing special. You don't have an it factor or really anything that makes you stand out from the others. So," Stephanie pushed away from the table."Until we can come up with a new image for you, this is your storyline."

She stood, turned to go then paused and looked back at Amber. "Just remember. There are at least a dozen hungry girls waiting down in NXT for the opportunity to join the main roster. You want to keep what you have? Then you have a decision to make." With that, she turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

Seth sat across from Roman and laced his boots, but his thoughts were with Amber and Dean and their meeting with Stephanie and creative. He'd wanted to go with her, but with the demise of The Shield, unless the storyline directly involved him he wouldn't have been allowed in the meeting. Instead, he could only hope that Dean would be there to support her if she needed it.

Now that she was on her own, she'd been worried about where the creative time would take her.

Knowing 'The Authority' Seth understood she had reason to worry.

Dean plowed through the locker room door, a look of distress on his face that had Seth jumping to his feet. "What happened?" He paused, waiting for Amber to appear, when the door simply swung closed he looked at Dean.

"It wasn't pretty." Dean shook his head as he plopped down onto the bench. "I'm not happy about it and I know you're definitely not going to be happy about it."

"Why?" Seth asked. "What happened? Where's Amber?"

"She took off after the meeting ended, mumbling something about needing to be alone to think. She was pretty upset and as far as I'm concerned she had every right to be."

"Why? What in the hell happened in that meeting?"

"Basically, Stephanie ripped Amber's self esteem to shreds by telling her that she's nothing special. Then, just to add insult to injury, she dropped the bomb on her that if she wants to keep what she has here and remain a part of the WWE she must play girlfriend and valet to me on camera."

"What?" Seth stared at him, dumbfounded even as Roman held up a hand.

"Wait a minute. Stephanie wants Amber to be your on-screen girlfriend?"

Dean nodded. "And it gets worse. After Queen Bee sashayed out of the meeting she left it to Alan the head writer to inform us that management wants us together as much as possible. Which means she and I are to drive together, eat together and do all photo ops together. They don't want you anywhere near her for fear of ruining the storyline."

Seth couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "But they know Amber and I are a couple."

Dean shrugged. "They know Zoe and I are a couple. They don't care, dude. You know management. They want what they want and to hell with the consequences."

Seth closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. So managment was effectively trying to ruin his relationship with Amber in order to perpetuate a storyline? After everything they did to Lexi and Roman he really shouldn't be surprised. Still, since when did they care who dated who and with Twitter, Facebook and that damn Total Diva's show, reality was slowly meshing with fiction anyway.

Regardless of what management wanted, he wasn't going to give up everything he and Amber build without a fight.

_Amber!_

Knowing how her mind worked, she wouldn't be quite so willing to fight. No, in order to make management happy she'd work it in her mind until she found a way to give them what they wanted. _Damn!_ He needed to find her before she had time to twist this all around and turn it into something it wasn't. "So after all this happened, Amber said she needed to be alone?"

"Yeah?" Dean eyed him. "Why is that unusual?".

"And you just let her go?" Seth asked instead of answering Dean. He could feel the slow grip of pain clamping around his throat.

"She looked pretty upset," Dean said. "I thought it would do her good to have some alone time to think things through."

Nervous energy flowed through Seth as he began to pace. How could Dean just let her go like that? "Come on, Dean. You know how Amber is. She's not like Lexi where she can think things through to a logical conclusion and then discuss them like a rational person." He crossed to the bench and quickly tied his other boot. He needed to get out there and find her. "Amber takes things in, then internalizes them until she makes herself sick. She mulls and stews and twists the information around until she's convinced herself that whatever the issues is, it's ultimately her fault and then relents."

"So?" Dean asked.

"So, when something bad happens to her, you don't give Amber time to internalize it otherwise she erects her walls and it's harder than hell to reach her. She needs to face the issue immediately and head on with someone who can think logically." He shook his head. "I have to go find her."

"We'll help," Roman offered and pushed off the bench and nodded to Dean who was already up and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't realize," Dean offered.

Seth shook his head as he joined his friends. He couldn't really blame Dean. His girlfriend was pretty typical when it came to dealing with emotions. Of course, Seth was sure that came from being raised in a relatively normal family.

As a child, Amber's home life had been fucked up and despite her best efforts to leave her past behind her, to this day she still carried baggage from it. All he could do was try and keep her from twisting the situation too far out of control.

He followed the men out into the arena hall and looked around. She could have gone anywhere. "Where in the hell do we start?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tucked in the corner of the top level arena seating, Amber sat alone. Through watery eyes she stared absently down at the workers assembling the ring, barriers, and stage below. This was all she'd ever wanted for her life. To be a Diva on WWE's main roster. Had she known back when she'd first started, the levels to which she'd have to stoop in order to make that happen she might have picked another line of work. Instead, she'd given them all of her and received the shaft as payment. How could her life go from perfect to a complete wreck in the matter of just a few days?

She dabbed a tissue at her eyes and sniffled. Regret and guilt sliced through her as her first thought landed on Lexi and how this should have been her issue to deal with. It was wrong of her to wish this on her best friend, especially after everything she'd done for Amber. Still, Lexi had the personality to handle the situation. Lexi had a backbone and sass and the clout with management to get them to listen. Hell, knowing how she was, Lexi would have had the guts to stand her ground on the issue and simply outright refuse.

Instead, Lexi was basking in the glory of being a new mother and preparing for her return in a little over a week and Amber had been the one caught in 'The Authority's' snare. She'd become the scapegoat for The Shield's demise and her career was the one at stake.

She glanced around the arena, took in the empty seats and sucked in a ragged breath. In a few hours every one of these seats would be filled with fans eager to hurl insults and slurs at her. If only they knew the truth. But they didn't know the truth and as far as management was concerned, they never would.

So what choice did she have? She couldn't quit. Not when she had a contract that wasn't due to expire for another six months. While she had a nice little savings built up, it wouldn't be enough to survive even a single round with WWE lawyers. She could refused to participate in the storyline and let them fire her for cause.

_Then what?_

She had no real skills outside of wrestling and Vince owned damn near everything tied to wrestling. If she left how would she support herself. Worse yet, what would happen to her relationship with Seth? Amber let her eyes drift closed as she drew in a deep breath. An image of him appeared behind her closed lids and her heart melted just a little.

The man was so full of energy and passion. He'd cared about her when no one else had and even now he loved her. Why, she still hadn't a clue, but she valued his love so much. Still, knowing what she'd have to do, would she be able to keep his love?

A tear broke free and streaked down her cheek. There was only one real way for her to get through this storyline and still have a career on the other side. It meant sucking up to The Authority and not just playing her part, but doing it so well that management would have no choice but to give her the props she deserved. It meant that for the first time since she'd arrived in the WWE a year and a half ago, that she put her career first and her heart second. Ultimately, it also meant risking her relationship with Seth by placing it on hold until management lost interest and moved on.

No matter how much she loved him, or how much she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, deep down she'd always known her relationship with Seth was finite. Everything good in her life was finite. So when this was over, if by then, Seth had moved on to someone else, she'd be crushed, but she'd learn how to deal with it. After all, didn't he deserve a normal girlfriend, instead of the twisted basket case she was most of the time?

* * *

Seth's phone vibrated and he glanced down to read the text from Roman. "She's not in catering. Gonna check the loading docks"

A moment later Dean's text came through. "She's not in wardrobe. Checking hair & makeup next."

Seth texted back. "Had Nattie check for me. She's not in the diva's locker room. Checking the ring area."

When all three men came up empty yet again Seth's frustration began to grow. There were only so many places she could hide in the arena. So why hadn't they found her yet? The longer she had time to stew over this meeting, the better the chance that she'd somehow internalize this and make herself sick.

He raked a hand through his loose hair as he stood on the concourse and looked around. Most of the time Amber was fine. With the help of Lexi, Zoe and the boys they kept life fairly stable and managed to downplay the darker events that would happen. She'd even been a positive force over the summer when Lexi went into early labor during the hurricane and panicked. He had hoped she'd turned a corner with that event, but alas that didn't appear to be the case.

The moment management began talking break up again, he'd noted the change in her personality. Happy and positive events and emotions she did fine with, but anything connected with turmoil or forced change caused her insecurities to surface. Even when she knew something was for the best, it didn't change the fact that she struggled to work through and accept the situation.

It was same sensitive nature that drew him to her from the beginning. When she felt something, she felt it with her entire being. _Love. Passion. Desire. _The way she displayed these emotions made him crazy with need. The tenderness and empathy she had for others made his heart melt.

Yet, it wasn't a character trait she could switch off when it came to darker emotions. _Hate. Anger. Grief. Worry. _She would allow them to eat at her until she would become nothing more than a shell.

_Guilt! _

Guilt was the big one, the granddaddy of emotions that could take her down with with the speed of a game hunter's well placed bullet. Somehow, in her mind, she could make any bad situation her fault. Even a year and a half later he still didn't understand exactly how in a situation where she was an innocent victim she could twist it around until in her mind it was her fault.

He knew it stemmed from the misplaced blame her father directed on her when she was younger. The trauma of being nearly raped had to have been bad enough. Then for her to find her father dead with a self-inflicted gunshot wound… Seth shook his head at the thought. To have the only family she knew disappear during the formative years of her life. Those events alone would have been enough to cause issues, but it was that damn note that had done her in and changed her forever.

She'd told him about the note her father had left and how he'd all but blamed her for his weakness. How he couldn't control his urges around her and that the only way to protect her was for him to go away. She confessed how she'd never told anyone what the note said and how she'd lived with that guilt for nearly a decade. Seth tried to make her understand, to make her see how her father was a sick coward who unfairly blamed her. How what happened to her wasn't her fault, but it had been an uphill battle. Live with something long enough and it becomes gospel.

Earlier in the year, when Lexi decided to go back to a therapist for help with her issues, he'd nearly convinced Amber to see one also. There was only so much he could do when it came to helping her prevent twisting negative emotions into something worse than what they really were. The truth was, she needed help beyond what he could give her. She needed professional therapy. It was just a matter of finding the right key to get her to go.

He'd just considered checking the upper level seating and turned to head toward the stairs when he spotted Amber slowly working her way down the steps. He waited at the base, watching with a cautious stare. Her puffy and bloodshot eyes told him she'd been crying. The pained look of resolve that masked her features had his heart beating in fear. He'd been too late to talk to her. She'd already come to some sort of decision and he'd bet he wasn't going to like it.

"Hey." He reached for her hand as she stopped on the bottom step and stared at him.

"Hey," she sniffled.

"Dean told me about the meeting." He watched now, assessing her actions, her expressions

She lifted a shaky hand through her hair. "Yeah, it wasn't good. I just needed a little time to think things through. I'm sorry if you were worried about me." The monotone timber associated with her response sent chills sliding through Seth. Whatever her decision, it pained her enough that she'd already resorted to mentally distancing herself from it, to shutting down her emotions as a method of dealing with the pain.

"You should have come and got me," he urged as he wrapped an arm around her and grimaced at the stiff way she held herself. "We could have talk it out."

She turned her head and looked at him now. He could see the love in her eyes and the pain. "This was something I needed to work out on my own." What he knew was a fake smile tipped her lips. "It's all good. I know what needs to be done now."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When they all made it back to the locker room, Seth eased her down onto the bench. "Honey, what did you mean when you said you know what you need to do now."

She glanced from Seth to Dean and Roman, then back. "I mean I know that I can't fight The Authority and it's time I step up and play along."

Seth arched a brow at her statement. Considering the circumstances, it actually seemed logical. So why had she looked so heartbroken when he found her? She lifted a hand to his cheek, pulling him from his thoughts. "You're not going to like some of the things they're asking me to do." The pain he'd seen earlier returned to her eyes and his heart cracked a little.

He'd do damn near anything to make that pain go away. "It's okay. I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

"I hope so," she replied before leaning in to kiss him. "Because I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," he promised. If anything he was afraid of losing her, of watching her spiral out of control and not be able to stop it. "No matter what takes place in this storyline I know I have your heart and you need to know that you have mine."

When she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. "I do know that, but sometimes I worry."

He stroked the hair out of her face. "I know you do, baby, but please don't worry to the point of making yourself sick. It's just a challenge for us to overcome and when we do, we'll be stronger for it, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, but no matter what happens, I want you to know that I love you," she whispered. "I'll always love you."

"I love you too, baby." He pulled her against him. "You'll see, everything is going to be all right."

* * *

It was late in the afternoon on Monday as Seth paced the tiny locker room he and Roman now shared alone. Under managements new orders for the storyline Amber had been relegated back to the Diva's locker room while Dean had his own space.

Dressed in their new black and grey gear with the logo R&R on the tee shirt, Roman sat with his elbows resting on his knees, watching. "Dude, would you relax?"

"How in the hell can I relax when I haven't seen Amber since early this morning?" He lifted his hands in the air. "Knowing what she was facing tonight she didn't sleep at all. She only picked at her breakfast." He shook his head. "She's exhausted and distraught and I'm scared shitless."

"You need to have some faith in her," Roman countered. "She might surprise you."

Seth started to reply when a soft knock on the door had him looking up instead. Zoe peered around the door. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

Seth shook his head. "No it's fine. What's up, Zoe?"

She stepped into the room and angled a thumb back toward the door. "Amber just showed up in Dean's locker room in preparation for tonight's show and well..." She nodded toward the door. I think you guys need to see for yourself."

"Why?" Seth asked even as he headed for the door. "Is it bad?"

Zoe shook her head. "Not necessarily bad, but definitely different."

What in the hell did that mean?

With Roman on his heels, Seth followed Zoe to Dean's locker room. She pushed open the door, ushered them inside and Seth stopped dead in his tracks. "Amber?" What in the hell happened to his girl?

She was still dressed in Shield black, but instead of her normal camo attire she now wore a skimpy black sequined dress that if was any shorter would reveal her assets to the world. At least he hoped it was a dress since there were only straps crossing her back to hold the fabric in place. She turned toward him, her long legs wobbly in the thigh high black heeled boots. Her eyes widened. "Seth? What are you doing in here? If management finds you here."

"I don't give a shit about management right now." He reached out to touch her hair. "What did you do?" Her beautiful blond locks were gone, replaced with a nearly bleach blonde white color that was streaked with red and black and tipped in solid black along the ends. She wore striking makeup, her lips were blood red while her eyes were covered bold shades of blue and black. Where in the hell did his Amber go?

Her smile faltered just a little as she glanced at Dean then back to Seth. "Management said they had enough blond Divas so I talked Kaitlyn into taking me to a local hairdresser." She paused, her frown deepening. "You don't like it?"

He'll no he didn't like it. He wanted her blond hair back. The hair that made her his Amber and not some Goth looking freak. "It's not that I don't like it," he lied. "It's just a shock."

Slowly her smile returned. "Management likes it. They think it could be the basis for a whole new persona for me. That's the reason for the dress and boots. We're trying out my look tonight." She glanced at Dean again and smiled. "Dean said he liked it."

Seth shot Dean a death look only to receive a shrug as a response. Resolved to the situation for now he conceded. "No, baby. It's great," he finally said, the words sour on his tongue.

Her eyes lit with joy. "You really think so?"

"I do." He pulled her to him. He didn't. He really didn't, but it was something he'd just have to get used to.


	6. Chapter 6

_Okay, so I know that Jim Johnston does all the music for WWE intros, but for purposes of this story I'm going to use music you could look up or might already know. _

* * *

Chapter 6

Seth stood in Gorilla with Roman. After two years of making their entrances through the crowds, it felt weird to be behind the Titantron. _This next contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, former Shield member Seth Rollins, accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner and former Shield member, Roman Reigns._ Their new theme music, Die for You by Otherwise, blasted through the arena. He glanced at the monitor, watched as their new logo then their names flashed across the Titantron.

Roman took is cue from the backstage coordinator and stepped through the curtain. Seth followed Roman onto the stage. For the first time since he'd landed on WWE's main roster, there was an overwhelming cheer that ripped through the crowd. He couldn't stop the grin that slid across his face. It always amazed him how the same fans that hated him last week for being a heel, now loved him for being a face.

He and Roman made their way to the ring, Roman walked to the far side and took up residence near the announce table while Seth slid into the ring. He raised his hands, smiled out at the crowd and enjoy a rare moment of basking in the approval of the WWE Universe.

He crossed to where Roman stood and crouched, waiting as his music faded._ And his challenger,_ Lilian Garcia's voice carried through the arena. _Being accompanied by Amber Star, former Shield member Dean Ambrose._ Dean's new music The Sickness by Disturbed blared through the speakers and Seth watched as Amber appeared on the stage next to Dean.

He noted the quick collective gasp that tore through the crowd, then the immediate and overwhelming boos that followed. Even from where he stood, Seth could hear the vicious names and slurs being thrown at Amber. Wow! The fans really hated her for her choice. He worried about how the fan's reaction would weigh on her.

If she could look at the situation objectively, she'd be able to see that receiving such a vicious reaction meant that she was in fact getting over with the crowd. They were engaged and they cared and whether a wrestler was a heel or a face, crowd reaction was always the ultimate goal.

Unfortunately, I had a feeling she wouldn't be able to see past her feelings. From behind him, Seth caught the conversation taking place between Jerry, Michael and JBL. "Is that Amber Star, King?"

"What happened to her?" JBL asked. "Not that I'm complaining. Would you look at that dress."

"Can that even be called a dress," Michel argued.

"Well I don't really care what got into her, but I think I like it," Jerry replied.

Frustration slowly began to boil in the pit of Seth's stomach. He knew that other men found Amber sexy, but hearing the comments, seeing how some of the fans, the ones who weren't booing, leered at her pissed him off. That dress fucking objectified her and he didn't like it one bit.

Adding to his fuel was the way she was staring at Dean, as if he had suddenly become her entire world. If she was uncomfortable with her new persona she wasn't showing it as she sashayed down the ramp holding his arm and batting her gorgeous green eyes at him. Dean held her hand as she carefully made her way up steps. Then Dean hopped onto the apron and sat on the middle rope, so she could pass through a little easier. Once inside the ring, she arched a cocky brow at Seth and leaned against Dean as he slid an arm around her waist.

Damn she was playing her part well. A little too well if one were to ask Seth.

"You should have just walked away," Dean said, pulling Seth's attention back to his friend. "You should have walked away and not looked back. Now I'm going to make you pay for turning your back on the team."

"What team?" Seth smirked. "You stopped being part of the team the moment you let your ego get in the way."

"You stopped believing," Dean spat. "You stopped carrying your weight. No wonder your girl decided to stay with me." Dean shot Seth a wry grin. "She wants a man she can be proud of. A man who can satisfy her needs. She wants a real man." He turned his head to look at Amber. "Right, Sugar."

She grinned at his statement, but Seth noted how it didn't quite reach her eyes. Would anyone else notice? "That's right," she replied then turned her gaze on Seth. "I want a real man." Her word were cold as ice and hit Seth like tiny bombs, but what happened next had him ready to explode.

Dean slid a hand through Amber's hair, gripped it tight, then covered her mouth with his. Seth almost missed the way her body stiffened for a split second, how at first she didn't kiss back. Then apparently remembering her job, she relaxed into the kiss, opened her mouth and allowed Dean to take it deeper. Seth's stomach rolled at the sight of his best friend kissing his girl.

Don't get bent. It's just an angle. Just a storyline. As hard as he tried to remember, it didn't change how he felt deep inside. Channeling his frustration and fury, Seth sucked in a breath, then swung out, attacking Dean and sending Amber scurrying from the ring. Rage coursing through him he took Dean to the mat and they began to trade blows. Dean managed to break away, but Seth followed and with a running clothesline, flipped Dean over the top rope and out of the ring.

From there, the first few minutes of the match seemed to go Seth's way as he used his emotions to his advantage and pummeled Dean. He could hear Amber outside the ring, cheering for Dean, encouraging him to take control.

_That should be me she's cheering for! _

The traitorous thought slipped through his mind and he faltered, missing his next move. Dean sent him a quick look of shock, but being a professional, continued on. They were well over five minutes into the match and Seth couldn't seem to concentrate as Amber dominated his thoughts. He knew she was doing her job, but damn it, she was doing it just a little too well for his taste.

Roman climbed onto the apron. "Come on, Seth. You need to concentrate, man."

On a running dropkick, Dean sent Roman flying. He hit the outside mats with a thud. Then, all but ignoring Seth, Dean leaned over the top rope and yelled down at Roman. "Come on, big man. You think you're so tough. Get your ass up." He waved his arms, encouraging Roman to climb into ring.

On a growl, Roman pulled to his feet, slid into the ring and attacked Dean. Seth heard the bell a split second before he joined Roman in beating Dean down. Wait? Had he just lost the match on a disqualification? That wasn't how it was supposed to end. He pulled Roman off Dean, who now lay on the mat, putting on a good show of being hurt.

"Dude?" He nearly whispered. Roman only shook his head and slid from the ring. Seth quickly followed. He passed Amber, looked her straight in the eyes, turned and without looking back, headed up the ramp. Once they were through the curtain, Seth looked over at Roman. "Why did you do that?"

Roman sighed. "Dean knew your head wasn't in the match and he didn't want you getting hurt." Roman raked a hand through his hair. "That's the only good reason why he would have taunted me like that. It wasn't part of what we discussed for the match earlier. He wanted to give me a reason to interfere so we could end the match before something bad happened."

Frustrated that his friends could so easily see through him, Seth turned and headed for their locker room. He knew Roman was right, but it didn't make the situation any easier to accept. All this time he'd been worried about how Amber was going to handle this first match. As it turned out, she appeared to handle it just fine. He was the one with the issue.

Seth hadn't been in the locker room ten minutes when the door swung open and Zoe rushed in, a look of distress on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Amber. You need to come now," Zoe replied even as she was heading out the door.

Seth rushed forward, catching up with her. "What's going on?"

"As soon as she and Dean cleared the curtain she took off running for the nearest bathroom," Zoe replied as she rushed down the corridor. "We gave her a couple of minutes, thinking maybe she just needed to use the facilities, but when she didn't come out, I went in to check on her."

"And?" Seth asked as fear skittered through him.

"And it appears this storyline is going to take a rougher toll than we anticipated," she replied as the passed Emma's assistant, who appeared to be guarding the door. Zoe pushed open the ladies room door and motioned for him to enter. He glanced at Roman, then headed inside and followed the sound of sobbing all the way to the back handicapped stall. Seth pushed open the door and found Dean sitting on the floor, holding Amber against him..

"She was vomiting when Zoe found her," Dean said as Seth crouched in front of them. I came in to help when Zoe when to find you. Now she just keeps repeating how sorry she is." He shook his head. "If I didn't know better, I'd think she was in shock."

With a gentle hand, Seth reached out and pulled the hair away from her face. She was pale and a thin sheen of sweat made her skin glisten. "Baby?"

She turned her head slightly, looked at him, her eyes were wide as saucers and filled with pain and regret. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Seth countered as he nodded at Dean who gently shifted Amber off him. Seth eased onto the floor and gathered her close as she began to sob in earnest now.

"I hurt you," she said through ragged breathing. "I could see it in your face."

"You didn't hurt me," he argued. "It just caught me off guard is all."

She shook her head against him. "You were hurting. I could see it. You weren't thinking about the match. You were thinking about me."

Seth closed his eyes and silently cursed himself for not having better control of his emotions. While it would bode well for the story and the fans that he let his real feeling show through, it had worried and hurt those he loved most. "Baby, I'm fine and besides, you were doing your job," he replied as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You did a great job too. Very convincing."

"I don't like this," she murmured against him as her sobs began to slow. Seth glanced up at Roman who stood in the doorway looking nearly as heartbroken as Seth felt. None of them like this situation. They were all trapped by managements decisions and no matter how hard they tried to stick together someone was going to end up broken before this was over.


	7. Chapter 7

_WARNING: Just as I posted with my other story, this chapter should not be read at work or in the presence of children._

* * *

Chapter 7

With wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist, Seth stepped out of the bathroom and paused to watched Amber sip on the soup he'd ordered for her before climbing into the shower. A small modicum of relief slid through him. At least she was trying to eat.

The moment she'd calmed down enough for them to leave the ladies room back at the arena, he'd gathered up their belongings, directed her to the rental car and headed for the hotel. It didn't matter that the show wasn't over. Better that they leave when the fans were still inside the building so they wouldn't be seen together. He rolled his eyes at that thought. God forbid anyone see him and Amber together. Management might have a damn cow.

Once they'd made it back to the hotel, he'd had her shower and get herself cleaned up while he'd ordered room service. When she appeared a half hour later, she still seemed a bit pale and glassy eyed, but her focus was a bit clearer. She'd promised him that she would eat while he was in the shower and it appeared as if she was trying to keep her word.

Hopefully she'd be in a better state of mind for them to talk, because he didn't like the breakdown he'd witnessed earlier and wanted to do whatever was necessary to prevent a reoccurrence. He walked over to the bed and slipped under the covers, then leaned back so he was propped against the pillows. She glanced at him, then set her nearly empty bowl of soup on the nightstand, turned and looked back at him a second time.

He reached for her hand, slipped his fingers between hers. "You okay now?" .

She let out a heavy sigh that told him she was anything but okay. "I don't know," she finally said after a moment. "I'm not sure what happened to me back there. I mean I knew the kiss was coming. Dean, Zoe and I talked about it and you knew about it. So it wasn't like it was a surprise, but when it actually happened I had a moment of panic." She scooted closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Kissing him felt wrong on so many levels." She cut a look toward Seth. "Then when I saw your face, my stomach just knotted up. The devastation in your eyes cut me right to the core. I knew we were just playing our parts in this big stupid script, but I also knew there wasn't any way you could have faked that look. Seeing me kiss Dean hurt you and I'd never want to hurt you for anything."

He lifted her hand to his lips and grazed a soft kiss across her knuckles. "I know you wouldn't. I didn't expect to feel the way I did. It was a shock to me to find out that it bothered me so much."

She nodded. "This whole thing just feels so wrong. It was everything I could do not to push him away and throw myself into your arms."

Her confession made him feel both better and worse. Worse because it appeared that he'd had a fundamental hand in her post show breakdown. Better because she still liked the way he kissed better. He rolled his eyes at that thought and felt the urge to kick his own ass. It was wrong of him to be thankful that she hadn't enjoyed the kiss between her and Dean. Especially when it also led to fall out after the fact. Still, she was right. Despite knowing it was fake, watching them had hurt. "Well, you can throw yourself into my arms anytime you like after our segments."

She snickered, then turned her head toward him, cupped his face with her free hand and pressed a soft kiss to his bearded chin. "Can I throw myself into you arms right now?"

He turned to her, pulled her close. "Now." He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Later," He repeated with a peck to tip of her nose. "Forever," he whispered before claiming her mouth.

Her whimper was soft, but in the silence of the room it resonated and signaled her surrender to him. He shifted, his towel falling away as he moved above her. "My beautiful, Amber," he murmured as he mouthed soft kisses along her jaw.

She gasped now as he nibbled on the sweet spot just below her ear. The spot he knew drove her crazy. "Seth," she gasped. "I need you."

He reached down, gathered the bottom of his t-shirt she was wearing and pulled it up over her head. "Touch me, baby," he lowered his head, pressed a kiss to her collarbone, then one lower along the slope of her breast. "Show me how much you need me."

The moment her delicate fingers wrapped around his shaft, Seth thought he just might lose it. He didn't just want to make love to her. Didn't just want her to touch him. He wanted to lose himself inside her body, to reclaim what, deep down, he knew was already his, but felt as if he'd lost because of this new angle. He desperately wanted to erase any memories of that damn kiss with Dean from her mind.

A groan tumbled from him as he lowered his mouth to her breast and sucked. Her other arm slid around his head, cradling him as she arched up. Against his tongue, he could feel her nipple pebble and he grazed his teeth along it's sensitive peak. A gasp tore from her, the sound feeding his hunger. He moved from one breast to the other, even as she continued to stroke him. When her other nipple pebbled he let go and began kissing his way to her belly. His movement put him out of her reach, but that was okay. If she'd continued stroking him he wouldn't have lasted and he had a desperate need to be inside her when he came.

Ignoring the throbbing between his legs, he kept his attention focused on her and ran his tongue around her navel, leaving a wet trail.

He could see she was restless now, her body shifting beneath him, arching toward him, desperate for what only he could give her. Gently, he ran a hand along the inside of her thigh and he grinned when she opened her legs for him. With his fingers, he gently parted her slick folds then bent his head to lick her clitoris.

Her body jerked in reaction, and she groaned as her hands scrambled for something to grab. That's it baby. Let me drive you wild. He worked his fingers lower, sliding into her opening. She spread her legs wider even as his name tumbled from her lips. For several minutes he simply enjoyed the taste and feel of her as her body reacted to his ministrations with fresh shots of cream and tiny pulses.

Before long she was writhing against him and it didn't take long for his thoughts to spiral into a single focus...to give her the release she desperately needed. He added a third finger, and sucked her tiny nub into his mouth and was treated to the most beautiful sight he'd seen in awhile as she broke apart before him.

Screaming, Amber reared up, her hands spearing through his hair as her channel pulsed around his fingers and her clit throbbed against his tongue. "Oh God, oh God, oh God...Seth!"

He pushed her now, demanding she give him every bit of her pleasure, wringing out her orgasm until she collapsed in an exhausted mass against the pillow.

Before she had time to recover, he shifted over her and thrust home. She cried out as his balls slapped against her bottom. He lowered his head and captured her mouth in breathless kiss that silenced her scream.

He only gave her a moment to adjust to his invasion before he began to move, setting up a powerful rhythm, stroking to her deepest regions. Her delicate tissues stretched around him, cradling him like a glove. The friction caused by each thrust only seemed to add to both their pleasures. She grabbed at his shoulders, sinking her nails into his back.

His hands traveled down her side until he grasped her bottom, pulled her against him and drove impossibly deeper into her responsive little body. Again, was all he could think as he slammed into her. He wanted her to come again, to come with him this time.

She was close, he could tell by the way her body quivered beneath him, she was riding that delicious edge of pleasure. Only he wasn't going to last much longer. His balls drew up tight as he felt the impending tidal wave of pleasure building. Not wanting to leave her out, he trailed one hand between them, finding her clit and pinching it.

Her body went rigid, straining against him as he stroked her quivering flesh. He could feel it rushing toward him now, plowing through his body and he began rocking faster, his thrusts harder.

Just as he feared it was going to go off that glorious edge without her, she splintered beneath him as her orgasm exploding out in all directions. Her channel clamped down on him, squeezing and he was a gonner. He slammed into her one last time and the room blurred as he emptied himself into her on a growl.

She went limp beneath him a second before he collapsed over her. It took all his energy to keep up on his elbows so he didn't crush her while he fought to catch his breath.

"Are you all right?" he rasped in her ear.

"Mmmm hmmm," she replied on a purr that had him grinning from ear to ear.

Gently he withdrew, then dropped onto the bed bedside her, and pulled her against him. They still needed to talk, but it could wait until morning when they were both refreshed and able to speak rationally. Right now he wanted her to bask in the post coital bliss and rest. She desperately needed to rest. He pressed a kiss to her hair as he snuggled a little closer. "Just rest now, baby. I got you."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

With the glow of morning light in his face, Seth opened one eye and rolled over. He reached for Amber and instead encountered cold sheets. _Not again!_ He pushed up, raked a hand through his tangled hair and sighed. Just how long did she not sleep this time? A frown tipped his lips as he glanced around the room. _Where was she?_

Seth started to toss the covers off when Amber stepped out of the bathroom. She was already dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a dark blue sweater. Her hair and makeup were meticulous and she appeared as if she were ready to go somewhere. "Hey," he said feeling only marginally relieved that he didn't find her huddled in a chair somewhere. How was it she could look so broken last night, yet this morning appear as if nothing was wrong?

"Hey," she replied as she glanced at him and he noted the storm brewing in her eyes. Okay, maybe she wasn't as put together as she appeared.

"How did you sleep?"

She shrugged. "Better than in the last few days, but still not great."

That wasn't what he wanted to hear. "Why are you dressed like you're going somewhere?"

"Because I am," she replied as she pulled on her favorite black boots. "When I woke up I found a text message from Alan the head writer. He wants to meet me and Dean for breakfast before we head out."

Seth felt his heart skip a beat then speed up. Anything that had to do with creative couldn't be good. Not now. Not with this current storyline. Now he did fling the covers off him. "I'm going with you."

"Why?" she asked, her faced filled with confusion as she fixed her watch.

"Why?" he repeated. "Are you really asking me that? Have you already forgotten what happened last night?

She paused and he watched her eyes close as she appeared to take a deep breath. When she opened them again they were filled with resolve. "I haven't forgotten, but you're really making a bigger deal out of this than it was, don't you think?"

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, shocked by her attitude. "You don't think you vomiting up your dinner from nerves and crying against my chest on the floor of a public bathroom, isn't a big deal?"

She cocked her head to the side. "Seth,"

"No." He shook his head as he approached her. "Don't do that, Amber. Don't you try and play down this situation." He snagged a pair of jeans out of his suitcase. "If you won't do something about this then I will. I want Alan to know what this damn angle is costing you. I want him to find a way to put an end to it before something bad happens."

Her eyes widened and she turned toward him now. "Seth, no!"

He stopped in his tracks and stunned by her reaction could only stare at her for a moment, "No?" He arched a brow. "No?" He repeated as frustration and anger began to rise. "What the fuck do you mean no?" He lifted a hand and pointed to the mirror. "Have you actually taken a really good look at yourself lately?"

She blinked at him now, apparently confused at his statement. "I was just in the bathroom putting on my makeup. Of course I looked at myself."

He scrubbed a hand over his face as he struggled to keep his anger in check. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"No." She shook her head. "Actually, I don't know what you meant."

He grabbed her now, his fingers curling around her biceps as he pushed her against the wall. "Stop the damn denial. I know you can see it. The dark circles under your eyes. Your sunken cheeks from the weight you've lost over the last couple of weeks. The bloodshot eyes from too much crying and not enough sleep." He shook her now. "This fucking storyline is slowly killing you."

"Stop it!" Her high pitched squeal was enough to bring him out of his rage and he released her then took a full step back. Had he really just put his hands on her like that?

He scrubbed his hands over his face as he worked to reign back in his emotions. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, but damn it, Amber you can't tell me you don't see the damage this situation is causing."

She sighed now, the sound heavy and heartbreaking. "You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me. Make me understand," he urged. "Talk to me."

She stared at him for a moment before she nodded. "Okay. I have a few minutes before I have to meet Alan." He watched now as she stepped away from him and walked to the window. Her gaze focused out the glass to the world beyond. "I'm not special, Seth."

"Yes you are-" he started to argue only to have her hold up a hand, stopping him.

"I'm special to you, but not to the WWE Universe," she replied. "Not to management."

He wanted to argue with her that she was wrong, but now that she was actually talking to him, thought it best to let her finish. Instead he eased down onto to the edge of the bed closest to her and waited for her to continue.

She glanced at him, then returned her attention to the window. "This is all I know. Since I was a teenager it's all I ever wanted." She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Stephanie told me I didn't have the it factor that would make me a star. I'm just another Diva and I can be replaced."

Amber turned her haunted gaze on him now and Seth felt her pain wash through him. "She said there were at least a dozen girls waiting in NXT for the opportunity to make the main roster and if I wanted to keep my job, I had to play along with this storyline."

He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Dean told him about the conversation with Stephanie, but he hadn't believe that she would actually threaten Amber's career. "She threatened your job?"

Amber nodded. "If I don't go along with whatever she wants, I'm out." She turned now and paced through the room. "She doesn't care about what this is doing to me or what it's doing to us. She wants what she wants."

Seth turned to her. "But it's not fair to you. It's not healthy. We'll go to Hunter-"

"And do what?" she cut him off as she stared at him with challenging eyes. "Hunter doesn't own the company, Seth. He can't do anything."

"Then we'll go directly to Vince with this." He'd heard horror stories when it came to Vince, but surely the man wouldn't want to do anything that might jeopardize his wrestlers.

"No." She folded her arms. "We won't."

"But-"

She shook her head. "We're not going to do anything that's going to cost me my job. This is just some sort of challenge from Stephanie. She's testing me to see if I can rise to the occasion and by God that's just what I'm going to do."

"At what cost?" he asked as he stepped toward her.

Her gaze drifted away from his as she looked down at the floor. "I can't lose my job, Seth."

He reached for her now, his hand shaky as he curled a finger beneath her chin, forcing her to look at him. If the implication of her statement meant what he thought it meant, they were in serious trouble. "But its okay for you to lose your health?" he asked and his heart broke just a little when she didn't reply. "What about your friends?" Again she only stared at him and Seth swallowed hard as the question burned his tongue and he whispered. "What about us?"

Silence met his question even as regret lit in her eyes. The crack in his heart grew and threatened to shatter. After a moment, he released her and stepped back. Unlike him, apparently she couldn't balance both career and love. He'd accidentally forced her into making a choice and apparently it wasn't him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she turned away from him and grabbed her purse and keycard. "I have to go."

The moment the door closed with a click Seth's heart shattered against his chest.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Amber sat in the corner of the Diva's locker room and glanced at the door for what felt like the hundredth time. Lexi was due back today and Amber couldn't wait to see her and the baby. She hadn't talked to Lexi since before the storyline happened and could really use some support from her best friend.

She could have called Lexi, but she hadn't wanted to burden Lexi with her problems. Especially with Lexi working so hard to make her come back. Still, these past few weeks had been difficult without her best friend to lean on. It was especially hard this last week with the wound of her and Seth's breakup still so fresh. She'd come back after her meeting with Alan and Dean to find Seth packed and gone and a note on her suitcase.

When she Dean and Zoe reached their next destination she'd asked about her own room. She hadn't wanted to assume Seth would want to see share a hotel room. Only the hotel was booked full. Just when she thought she'd have no place to sleep Kaitlyn had been kind enough to share her hotel room.

Poor Kaitlyn had ended up playing the part of surrogate best friend. She'd ended up listening to Amber cry on more than one occasion over the last seven days. Still, her feelings meant nothing in the grand scheme. No matter how much she wanted to go crawling back to Seth and beg his forgiveness - and every time she saw him she wanted to - she'd have to remind herself that love simply didn't fit into the plan right now. He was better off without her.

Yes, he was hurting right now. So was she, but it had hurt her more to see what she'd been doing to him when they were together. At least this way he would eventually move on and at some point his pain would end. Staying with him would have kept ripping that scab open every time she had to play her part. More than anything, it saddened her that she'd caused him so much pain. Wounding him was never her intention.

Despite her pain, it really was better this way. She was free to work the storyline and pursue her career without worrying about Seth trying to do something that could jeopardize her future. In turn, he was free to find someone else to love. She swallowed hard at that thought, turned to fumble inside her bag while she fought back a fresh batch of tears.

"Oh my God," Nattie's squeal had Amber jerking her attention toward the front of the locker room.

"Oh how cute is she," Brie's voice carried over the sudden ooh's and aah's that filled the room.

Lexi stood within the sea of Diva's and Amber noted that she'd changed her hair back to her mahogany corkscrews instead of the black straight hair she'd worn as part of The Shield. It was just another confirmation that the good ole days were indeed behind them.

She held Alea in her arms, the baby wide eyed as she looked from one woman to the next. Amber had seen Lexi and Alea just a little over a month ago and it amazed her how much the baby had grown in such a short amount of time. Her dark hair, the same color as Roman's, was starting to grow in nicely. Her wide expressive eyes also leaned more toward Roman, but her lips were definitely all Lexi.

It seemed like it was only yesterday that she was watching Lexi fight to bring that beautiful little girl into the world. Watching Alea take her first breath had been one of the most exhilarating moments Amber ever experienced. She'd even had the opportunity to hold the infant when she was just minutes old and Amber had dreamed about the day when she would be holding her and Seth's child.

Funny, she mused, how much life could change in such a short period of time. For several minutes Amber sat back, watching as Lexi talked and joked with Nattie, then Brie and Nikki, then it was Naomi's turn with the baby. Lexi looked so happy and seemed to be basking in the glow of her return. Amber glanced down and considered the situation. The last thing she wanted was to ruin Lexi's return with her own problems. Maybe it would be better if she waited to talk to Lexi until later. Knowing she wouldn't be able to keep her issues to herself if Lexi asked, Amber stood and slowly began to inch her way toward the door.

She could sneak out right now and catch up to Lexi later. Maybe she'd even wait a few days until Lexi was completely settled back in. Then maybe she'd have time to talk. Amber stopped at the door, glanced back and smiled as Lexi passed Alea to Nattie then received a welcome back hug from Kaitlyn. No way would she ruin Lexi's day. She let the door close behind her as she stepped out into the hallway. Her problems could definitely wait.

Seth sat on the tour bus floor, with his back against the couch while Alea sat propped up between his legs playing. "I hadn't meant to push the issue," he sighed. "Well, maybe I had. I just don't know anymore. The only thing I really know is when I forced her hand she chose her career." He stroked a gentle hand over Alea's head and marveled at how much the baby had grown in such a short amount of time. "She told me she was sorry and walked out."

Lexi, pulled a bag of cheddar cheese from the refrigerator, ripped it open and began layering it across the casserole dish. "And you haven't talked to her since?"

Seth shook his head as he handed Alea one of her squishy blocks. She took the toy and promptly brought it to her mouth. "There wasn't anything left to say. She's made her decision and it's not me."

"I don't believe that," Lexi replied as she wiped her hands, then popped the casserole into the oven. She tossed the empty cheese bag in the trash, then walked around the small kitchen island over to where Seth sat.

Seth studied her for a moment as she crouched in front of him to hand Alea a block that tumbled out of her reach. The woman looked amazing for having given birth just four and a half months earlier. Roman said she'd given herself a six month deadline for returning to the ring. Coming back now meant she'd beaten that deadline by a solid six weeks.

Lexi eased back into one of the empty chairs. "There's no doubt in my mind that Amber still loves you."

"That's what I told him," Roman said, emerging from their bedroom, his hair still damp from the shower. "But he won't listen to me."

Seth watched with some amazement as Alea turned her head in the direction of Roman's voice, dropped her block and lifted her arms at him. Roman's face slid into a soft smile filled with love as he reached down and scooped up his daughter. Seth felt a small pang of envy as he watched his best friend with his baby girl.

He knew how hard Roman and Lexi had fought to bring baby Alea into the world and he'd never begrudge his friend even a little for what he had. Still, it didn't mean he wasn't just a little jealous. He wanted Roman's life. He wanted the wife, the baby and the career. Only he wanted it with Amber. Of course now that dream would remain just that...a dream.

Roman planted a raspberry on Alea's belly, making her giggle, then he crossed to sit in the other empty chair. For a moment Seth simply stared at his best friend. The many faces of Roman Reigns he mused as he remembered how Roman had speared not one, but both of their last opponents, leaving them flattened in the ring.

"You know," Lexi began, pulling Seth's attention back to her. "I briefly saw Amber earlier today in the Diva's locker room. I wanted to talk to her, but of course the girls were all over Alea and by the time I could break away, she'd slipped out."

"She left without saying even saying hello?" Roman arched a brow.

Lexi nodded. "I'd thought it was odd too, at the time, but dismissed it when Kaitlyn showed up wanting to hold Alea." She glanced between Seth and Roman. "Maybe I can catch up with her tomorrow at the gym."

"And say what?" Seth asked as he pushed up to sit on the couch. "I appreciate you wanting to help, but she's made up her mind."

Lexi pushed up from the chair, crossed over and sat down next to Seth. She placed a hand on his knee as she looked at him. "I know you're worried, but don't lose faith. We'll figure out a way to get her through this and get her back."

Seth patted her hand as he glanced over at Roman and noted how Alea was now sleeping on his shoulder. God he wanted that. "What can you do?" he asked Lexi.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure yet, but the first thing I'm going to do is talk to her. You know sometimes a situation requires a more objective third party in order for a missed opportunity to be uncovered."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Amber walked through the gym doors and stopped. She hated having to work out in the same gym as Seth and the guys, but this was the one gym in the city they had an arrangement with. This was the gym she knew from previous tours.

Summer Rae gave her a quick nod as she walked toward the treadmills. She'd given Amber a ride since Kaitlyn had other plans. Amber spotted Seth jumping rope and decided to start on the other side of the room. She'd just finished stretching when a familiar voice had her pulling up. "I was wondering if I had the plague or something," Lexi said.

With a smile, Amber turned to face her friend. "Hey girl." She wrapped Lexi in a hug. "You don't have the plague. I saw how you got mobbed in the locker room yesterday and I just wanted to give you time to get settled back in."

"Well I'm settled," Lexi replied as she pushed to arms length and Amber tried not to squirm under her friend's assessing gaze. .

"It's really good to see you."

"You too," Lexi fingered Amber's hair. "What's with the goth look?"

Amber's smile slid into a frown. Why did everyone seem to hate her hair? "What? You don't like it?"

Lexi arched a brow. "I didn't say that. I'm just curious as to why you felt the need to change your look."

Amber thought that Lexi of all people would have understood her situation, but now she was beginning to wonder. She shrugged and turned back toward the stair climber. "Management wanted me to take my character in a new direction. So that's what I'm doing."

Lexi climbed onto the machine next to her. "Your character, huh? Does your new character also include finding all new friends, because according to the guys that's what you seem to be doing."

Amber cut a look in Lexi's direction as she started her work out. So the guys were feeding her friend with misinformation. She should have known that they'd make the situation look one sided, as if all of this was her fault. It was time she clued Lexi in on what was really going on. "Management wants a division between Dean and myself and the rest of the guys. They said it's better for the storyline."

"Really," Lexi arched a brow as she glanced over her shoulder to where Dean currently spotted Roman while he lifted weights. "Seems to me Dean is still involved with the guys."

Amber shot a brief glance toward the guys, then turned back to her machine. She could admit that it irritated her to see Dean blatantly disregarding management's orders. Especially when she didn't have that luxury. They hadn't threatened Dean's career and she'd bet that until they did he'd keep right on breaking the rules. "Dean doesn't care what management thinks."

"And you do?" Lexi challenged.

"I better if I want to keep my job," Amber replied and was a little shocked to hear the resentment in her own voice. .

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Amber chewed on her lip for a minute. She'd decided Lexi needed to know her side of the situation, but did she really want to pull her friend into this nightmare by telling her everything? At this point she'd already opened the door and Lexi was the kind of person who would keep prodding until Amber told her. Better to get it over with now. "I mean I was told to play along or I'm fired."

Lexi immediately slowed on the machine as she arched a brow. "You're kidding?"

"No I'm not kidding," Amber replied as a newfound resentment began to build. "I play along and do exactly what management wants or they'll replace me."

Lexi stepped off the climber and moved next Amber's machine. "So this playing along for management included breaking up with Seth?"

Amber felt her frown return. "Please understand that I didn't want to hurt him, but I can't lose my job, Lexi." She shook her head. "I'm not you. I'm not a legacy. I don't have clout. I'm nothing special."

"Who told you, you were nothing special," Lexi argued. "You've been a member of the Shield for the last year and a half. You've been half of a tag team that has constantly kicked ass in the Diva's division."

"Yes, with you making over eighty percent of our wins with either a pin or submission," Amber corrected. "I might have been there, but you're the one who closed the deals. I need to prove to management that I can be something special on my own."

"And you think you're going to accomplish that by being arm candy for Dean?" Lexi shot back.

"Lexi-" Why couldn't Lexi see this from her point of view? It was as if she had a choice in the matter.

"No." Lexi shook her head as she hit the off button on Amber's climber. "You're selling yourself short with this storyline, Amber."

Frustrated by her friend's inability to see her side of the situation, Amber stepped down. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean if you continue with this storyline, nobody is going to take you seriously." Lexi said.

"Oh really and how do you know that?" Damn! She hadn't meant to angle her hands on her hips. Even if she was being defensive she didn't want to look like she was being defensive.

"How do I know?" Lexi challenged. "Look at Rosa. Look at Summer Rae. Go back a few years and look at Nicole Bass, Cherry, and Marlena. When they did get in the ring they weren't taken all that seriously. Is that what you want, Amber? To be known as eye candy who can kinda wrestle?"

"It doesn't have to be that way," Amber shot back. "There have been some valets who ended up being great wrestlers. Look at Chyna. Look at Trish Stratus. Look at Lita." As soon as the words left her mouth Amber regretted it. How could she have forgotten what Lita did to Lexi?

She saw the flash of pain that lit in Lexi's eyes and her guilt spiked. "Oh, God Lexi, I'm so sorry."

Lexi shook her head. "No, it's okay. That's was a long time ago." Her gaze traveled around the room and stopped on Roman. For a moment she simply watched him and Amber couldn't help but wonder what going through her friend's mind.

"Lexi?" Amber whispered. "I wasn't thinking. I am really sorry."

Slowly she looked back and Amber noted that the pain was now gone. "It's all good. When my past pops up like that, I just have to take a moment to remind myself of what I have now." She raked a hand through her hair. "My therapist taught me that trick." She paused for a moment and simply looked at Amber with those assessing eyes. "And the point I was trying to make to you was that you have the skills and to potential to be a top Diva. Do you really want to settle for being known as a valet first and a wrestler second?"

Amber shrugged. "What can I do? This keeps me in the spotlight. Even if the fans hate me right now, at least I'm relevant. My wrestling skills are lacking. I don't have a big finisher like Roman's spear or Dean's DDT or even your sharpshooter," Amber admitted.

"You can change that," Lexi encouraged. "You have the power, Amber. Take it back from management and set your own destiny."

"But it's not what they want."

"Who cares if it's not what they want?" Lexi replied. "Management isn't always right and you have to know when to step up and challenge their authority." She paused and raised a brow at Amber. "Ask yourself this question, Amber. Are you happy?"

Without thinking she turned to look at Seth and felt the lump form in her throat. No she wasn't happy. She wanted Seth back. She wanted how everything was, when she and Lexi were a tag team and they were part of the most dominate stable in wrestling. "My feelings don't matter right now," she finally replied on a sigh.

Lexi frowned. "I'm really sorry to hear that, because I can tell you right now, until they do, management is just going to keep using you. There's a difference between working a shitty storyline you don't like and ruining your life and career. Right now you're doing the latter and until you're willing to admit that fact I can't help you."

"I never asked for your help," Amber shot back, feeling a little defensive at her friend's tone.

"No, you didn't," Lexi replied then pointed toward the guys. "But Seth did. Even after you broke his heart, he's still worried about you." She looked back at Amber, her eyes now filled with resolved. "It won't always be that way, you know. Eventually he'll get over his broken heart and he'll find someone else. Then he'll have the career and love and you, my friend, you'll be nothing more than a distance memory of what once was."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Later that day, Amber was still mulling over the words she'd had with Lexi as she sat in Dean's locker room.

"You look like a woman with a lot on her mind," Dean observed.

Amber shrugged. "I guess."

"I saw you having a heated conversation with Lexi at the gym this morning."

Amber let her gaze drift to the floor. She hated that on Lexi's second day back she'd fought with her best friend. Of course, she hadn't expected Lexi to react the way she did. Lexi's choice of words had done more than just piss Amber off. They'd cut her to the quick.

"You want to talk about it?"

Amber sighed. "Lexi said that what I'm doing is wrong and that I need to stand up to management, because sometimes they're not always right. She said there was a difference between working a bad storyline and ruining your career."

"And Lexi thinks you're doing the latter?"

Amber nodded, the lifted her gaze to meet Dean's. "I thought I was doing the right thing because it was what management wanted. Now I'm not so sure. What do you think? Do you agree with her?"

Dean pushed up from where he sat, crossed to her and eased onto the bench next to Amber. "What do I think? I think you're you're scared because you're future is uncertain right now. I also think you're alienating a lot of people. The same people who would be there for you no matter what."

"You mean Seth," Amber clarified.

Dean nodded. "Him and Lexi and Roman and Nattie and a few others. What concerns me about all this, is if by chance your career does fall apart, then you're going to be all alone with no career and no Seth."

"Seth deserves better than me," Amber mumbled.

"Shouldn't that be his decision to make?" Dean challenged. "I mean I think every damn day that Zoe deserves someone better than me. I'm a mutt. I a bad bet. I come from a broken home and I carry a ton of baggage, yet she loves me anyway. I'm sure Roman and Lexi probably both think the same thing about each other." He placed a hand over Ambers. "But instead of pushing the other person away you know what we do?"

"What?"

"We thank God for blessing us with such a wonderful significant other that they're willing to put up with us...flaws and all."

The door opened and Lexi stepped into the locker room, Alea in her arms. "I'm sorry to interrupt," she said. "But have you seen Zoe?"

Dean removed his hand from Ambers and nodded. "Yeah, there was some sort of issue come up with a winner of a local radio contest. She had to go smoothing things over. Why?"

Lexi frowned. "She was going to watch Alea for me while Nattie and I went over some final strategies for tonight's match."

"Where's Roman?" Dean asked.

"He's coming with us to observe and help me make any necessary corrections. It's been nearly a year since I wrestled in front of the cameras and I'm still a little concerned about ring rust."

"What about Kaitlyn?" Dean offered.

Lexi shook her head. "She kept Alea for me this morning when I went to the gym."

"I can take her," Amber offered. "I mean if you're okay with it."

Lexi arched a brow. "I'm okay with it, but are you sure? I thought you'd be mad at me after our little discussion this morning."

Amber smiled. "Why would I be mad when you only have my best interests at heart?"

Lexi returned her grin. "I'm really glad you can see that."

Amber nodded. "I can and you've given me a lot to think about." She reached for Alea. "Come here, little one."

"Be good for Aunt Amber," Lexi encouraged as she pressed a kiss to Alea's cheek, then handed the baby to Amber. "Everything you need is in the diaper bag. She should want to eat in about an hour. Take the bottle to catering and they'll heat it up for you."

Amber nodded. "Got it."

Alea blinked at Amber, then turned her head and watched as Lexi retreated out the door. Amber half expected a crying fit, but the infant simply shifted her gaze to Dean instead. "Wow. I guess separation anxiety hasn't set in yet."

Dean chuckled. "I doubt Roman and Lexi will let that happen. With all the new faces around here, she's gonna get used to being handed off. Too many of you Diva's go all gaga over babies."

"Us Divas, huh?" Amber asked as Dean crouched in front of Alea and covered his face with his hands to play peek-a-boo.

Dean rolled his eyes at her. "She's practically family," he argued, apparently trying to justify his reasons for playing with the child.

Amber shook her head. "Such a tough guy, reduced to mush by a cute face."

Dean arched a brow. "If you ever tell anyone outside of our little circle, I'll have to kill you."

His empty threat made Amber laugh and she pushed off the bench. "Come on, munchkin. Let's take a walk so Uncle Dean can get ready for his meet and greet."

She opened the door and headed into the corridor. What she needed to do was find Stephanie and test a suspicion that had been building since her debate with Lexi earlier that morning.

It didn't take long for Amber to find Stephanie standing in the corridor talking to Randy Orton. Randy spotted Amber first. "Wow...is that Lexi's little one?"

Amber nodded as she shifted Alea so they could see her. "This is Alea."

Randy appeared to study the infant. "I saw her once just a couple of weeks after she was born, when we were in Tampa for that house show and Lexi brought the baby down for us to meet her." He shook his head in awe. "I can't believe how big she is already."

"It's hard to believe how fast babies can grow," Stephanie added then turned to look at Amber. "Can I see her?"

"Sure." Amber handed Alea to Stephanie and watched as Randy excused himself. "Can I ask you a question?" she said once Randy was out of hearing range.

"Sure," Stephanie replied as she grinned at the baby. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering when I was going to be getting back in the ring. I mean I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but-"

"But you're anxious." Stephanie nodded. "I understand, but we haven't figured out just what to do with you yet," Stephanie replied. "This can't be something we're going to rush simply because you want to wrestle again, Amber. There's a story line here that needs to be played out. Besides, you're doing great as Dean's valet."

"Yeah, great," Amber replied as Lexi's words echoed in her head. She was so screwed.

Seth appeared from around the corner and walked toward them. "Hey boss," Seth greeted.

"Seth," Stephanie replied.

"Amber." Seth nodded at her. "I see you managed to kidnap Squirt from Lexi." He grinned as he made a face at Alea and the infant smiled in response.

Amber watched the exchange between Seth and Alea. God she missed his smiles. "Yeah." She angled a thumb toward the center of the arena. "Roman was helping her and Nattie go over some final details for her first match back tonight."

Hunter sauntered into the conversation and stopped. His smirk turned into a full on grin the moment he spotted Alea. "Well look at you," he turned toward the infant. "What a big girl you are already."

Alea's smile faltered, then slowly her face puckered into a frown and she let loose a cry. "Paul, you're scaring her," Stephanie scolded.

"But I didn't do anything," he argued.

"Here." Amber went to reached for Alea to take her back and watched with mild shock as the baby extended her arms toward Seth instead.

Stephanie looked at Amber then to Seth, "I think she wants you."

"Of course she wants Uncle Seth," he replied as scooped Alea out of Stephanie's Arms. "Come here, Squirt." Alea went willingly, then still wearing a frown looked back at Hunter who chuckled.

"You're willing to go to the man with the two tone hair and beard, but I'm scary?" He shook his head.

"Don't feel bad," Seth said to Hunter as he shifted Alea to one side. "I've spent a ton of time with her since she was born. She's used to me and Roman said she's starting to go through stranger anxiety."

Hunter nodded. "I remember. Our girls did the same thing."

Alea gave Hunter one final scowl before she rested her head on Seth's shoulder. Amber damn near wanted to cry at the sight of Seth hold the baby. He looked so perfect holding her as if she were the most important thing in the world.

A little piece of her cracked at the fictional image that formed in her mind of Seth holding their own baby. A baby that would now never happen because she'd decided to put her career before love. "Um…" She cleared her throat and reached for Alea. "I told Lexi I'd watch her."

She slid her hands around Alea only to have the baby protest loudly. "It's okay," Seth said as he pulled back. "I don't mind watching her until they're done."

"Are you sure?" Amber frowned. "Baby's can be a handful."

Seth leveled a look on her that had Amber taking a full step back. "I've spent just as much time with Alea as you have. I think I can handle her."

Amber lifted her hands up in surrender. "Fine. Her diaper bag is in Dean's locker room. She hasn't eaten yet, so she'll probably be hungry soon. Lexi said to take the bottle to catering and they'll heat it up for you."

Seth nodded. "Got it. And don't worry about Lexi and Roman. I'll tell them I kidnapped Alea from you."

Amber stared as Seth for a moment as emotions warred inside her. She was so lost. So confused by everything that was happening. Dear God she loved him so much, but her need to be more than just Seth's girlfriend or Lexi's tag team partner battled with that emotion. She didn't want to live in Seth's shadow, or anyone's shadow, yet that was exactly what she was doing and she'd continue to be doing if something didn't change. "Fine. If you should need me, call me." Without looking back, she walked away. She needed to think anyway.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

An hour later Seth sat at a small table in the corner of catering with Alea in his arms. Half asleep despite the noise in the room, she sucked lazily on the bottle he held as he stared down at her. Before Lexi got pregnant he had very little interest in children outside of signings for work and even less interest in babies.

After witnessing Alea's birth his mindset had completely changed. It still amazed him, even as he stared down into her expressive blue eyes, that Roman and Lexi had produced this beautiful little person. While she looked a lot like Roman and a little like Lexi, she wasn't just a clone of them. She had her own personality that was developing more with each passing day. Happy most of the time, she had her stubborn moments and then moments like now when she just wanted to be cuddled.

She looked up at him and gave him a toothless, milky grin from around the bottle's nipple and he melted. Somehow she'd wormed her way into his heart and whether she knew it or not, he was totally wrapped around her tiny finger.

"Well if that isn't a sight to behold."

Seth looked up to find Kaitlyn standing across from him. "Hey."

"Hey." She grinned. "You do know there's at least a half dozen divas that now have pictures of you feeding Alea immortalized in their photostreams."

Seth chuckled and watched Alea turn toward Kaitlyn's voice. "Whatever."

Kaitlyn slid into the empty seat across from him. "You don't care about your image as a bad ass being ruined?"

"Nope," he grinned at her. "Let them think what they will. I'm secure enough in my manhood to not care." He set Alea's nearly empty bottle on the table, sat her up and began patting her back.

Kaitlyn leaned forward, set her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her folded hands. "You're like a natural at that."

Seth shrugged as Alea let out a tiny burp. "I guess. I've gotten a lot better under Lexi's tutelage. Though I'm still not as good as Roman."

"Maybe not," Kaitlyn observed, "But you'll be a pro by the time you have your own kiddos."

"You mean if," Seth corrected.

Kaitlyn frowned. "If? Uh oh...I take it you and Amber are still not talking?"

Seth shook his head as he thought about how she'd been just a little cold with him when he'd run into her earlier. He could see the trouble in her eyes, the pain dancing behind her green irises and it hurt to know he couldn't do anything to help. Whatever it was she was going through she needed to work it out on her own. "It's killing me to see her like this. She's lost and hurting and she's pushed me away, so I can't do anything to make it better."

"Well," Kaitlyn reached out and took his free hand in hers. "If you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm here for you, okay?"

He smiled at her now. "I appreciate that."

"Well isn't this just a sight," Roman's voice carried over the table and Seth noted how Alea's attention immediately drifted toward her father.

"So Dean wasn't kidding when he said you snatched Alea from Amber," Lexi laughed.

Seth let go of Kaitlyn's hand and grinned. "Alea had a not so happy encounter with Hunter and I just felt the need to rescue little Squirt."

Roman frowned. "Not so happy?"

Seth nodded. "Stranger anxiety I think. He sauntered into the conversation Amber and Stephanie were having right after I walked up. Alea took one look at Hunter and puckered up." He grinned. "It was actually kinda funny."

"Amber was talking with Stephanie?" Lexi asked as Roman reached for Alea and settled her into his arms.

Seth nodded. "I didn't hear what it was about, but whatever Stephanie said to her made Amber upset. I could see it in her eyes and the way she was carrying herself. Then with Hunter scaring Alea and making her all fussy, I decided to maybe I should take the baby."

Roman frowned. "Why? You don't think Amber would have hurt Alea?"

Seth's could feel his body jerk in shock. "Oh God, no. I just figured she needed some time alone to work out whatever was bothering her. If Alea was being cranky it would have only added to Amber's stress and amplified whatever was bothering her. Besides-" he grinned. "I like spending time with squirt."

Kaitlyn shot him a wry smile as she pulled her phone from her pocket. "He's not kidding either. Look-"

Lexi leaned over and stared at Kaitlyn's phone. "Oh...that's so sweet. Can you send me that picture? I want to have it printed and put it in Alea's baby book."

Seth shook his head. "Would you two just stop?"

Lexi glanced at Kaitlyn and the girls giggled before Kaitlyn stood. "Remember what I said," she directed at Seth. "If you just need to talk, or anything…"

Seth nodded. "I'll let you know."

Kaitlyn walked away and Lexi slid into the empty chair. She arched a brow at Seth. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing," Seth replied as he leaned back in his chair. "She was simply being a friend."

"A friend huh?" Roman replied as he used his free hand to snag a chair and pull it up to the table. "Does holding hands fall under the label of friendship?"

Seth eyed his best friend. "Don't make this out to be more than it is."

"All I'm saying is I understand."

"Understand what?" Seth challenged.

Roman looked to Lexi then back. "Understand that after what Amber did, maybe you're ready to try and move on."

Seething, Seth leaned forward. "It's only been two weeks, Ro."

Roman arched a brow. "So you do still love her?"

Seth looked at him in shock. "Of course I do."

"Good," Lexi added. "Because I have an idea that, while it's a bit sneaky and underhanded, might help Amber see the error of her ways."

Seth wasn't sure he liked where this was going. "What is it?" He was almost afraid to ask.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Amber sat alone in her hotel room and stared out the window. She couldn't get the image of Seth holding hands with Kaitlyn out of her head.

Feeling bad for snapping at Seth she'd wanted to apologize and talk to him. After all, it wasn't Seth's fault that management was screwing with her career. She'd returned to Dean's locker room only to be told that Seth went to catering. So she'd headed there instead. However, the minute she spotted him with Kaitlyn any thoughts of an apology disappeared on a wave of heartache and shock.

How could he move on so quickly? Didn't the year and a half they were together mean anything to him. It meant everything to her.

You said he deserved better. Her conscious argued. You pushed him away. What did you expect to happen?

Maybe deep down she'd hoped that he would wait for her. As foolish as that thought was.

Lexi's words from earlier that morning pinged inside her head yet again and she closed her eyes she replayed the argument they'd had. Amber had simply assumed that when Lexi returned that everything would be all right. She was Lexi Hart, which somehow in Amber's mind meant she could fix everything that was wrong.

_Foolish!_

She shook her head. While she might be Amber's mentor, Lexi wasn't some fictional superhero that could fix all the wrongs taking place in the WWE. It was stupid of Amber to think otherwise. Besides, while Lexi might have a lot of pull with management, she couldn't possibly fix what was wrong inside Amber's mind. Nobody could fix the feelings of inadequacy and shame she carried with her. Nobody could make her believe she was worthy of having someone as special as Seth or that she deserved to have happiness in her life.

She wiped a tear from her eye as she remembered how the crowd went nuts when Lexi appeared for the first time since revealing her pregnancy last March. Then, they'd cheered again after Lexi had applied the sharpshooter to Aksana and she'd tapped out to end the match. As stupid as it was, Amber wanted that crowd to cheer for her like that. She wanted desperately to be strong and talented like Lexi and Nattie and even Kaitlyn.

_Kaitlyn_

Slowly her thoughts turned to her so called friend and the celebration that followed backstage after Lexi's win. She watched from afar as their little group, including Kaitlyn, congratulated Lexi and how Kaitlyn had hugged Seth. Worse yet, Seth had left his arm around Kaitlyn's shoulders, giving the impression to those around that maybe the two were together. Dealing with that knowledge had been hard enough, but then she'd later learned that everyone had gone to Lexi and Roman's tour bus to celebrate further. Everyone in their group but her. Had they intentionally left her out or was she now just an afterthought to them?

She should be happy for Seth and damn it, she would eventually find a way to be happy for him. After all, she said he deserved better. Plus, if he'd moved on she could stop feeling bad for hurting him and focus on her career.

_What career?_

Amber frowned at that thought. She'd done everything management wanted, yet her future was still uncertain at best. Maybe the new year would bring some change for her. New year...Holiday...Christmas.

She groaned as a new wave of sadness struck. Last year, when they'd broke for the holiday's she'd gone with Seth to be with his family at Christmas. They'd welcomed her with open arms, treated her as one of their own. For the first time in years she'd felt as if she belonged. This year...this year she would be alone...again.

Seth took a beer from Roman just as Lexi emerged from the tour bus's bedroom. She pulled the door closed behind her.

"Squirt asleep?"

Lexi nodded and grinned. "She went down without a fight."

Zoe handed Lexi a margarita. "I'm really sorry about earlier today. I had every intention of watching Alea for you."

Lexi took a drink then slid into the booth seat at the dining table, next to Kaitlyn. "It's okay. You had to work. I totally get it. Besides, Amber agreed to watch her."

"Until Seth came along and absconded with her," Kaitlyn chuckled.

Seth raised his bottle. "Hell yeah I did and I'd do it again too." He grinned at Lexi. "I'd be happy to take care of squirt any time you need me."

Kaitlyn's brow creased with curiosity. "Why do you call her squirt?"

Lexi giggled. "You don't really want to know."

Kaitlyn developed a slow grin as she looked from Seth to Lexi and back. "Okay, now I'm even more curious."

"Well," Seth paused and pulled a long drink from his beer. "Actually it's really simple. Alea is the result of Roman squirting-"

"Stop," Nattie held up a hand cutting him off the same time Kaitlyn gasped out an _Oh My God_.

"What?" Seth shrugged. "It's the God's honest truth and I mean it with the utmost affection. I mean after all if he hadn't...well you know...she wouldn't be here now."

"I warned you," Lexi grinned. She looked from Seth back to Zoe, Kaitlyn and Nattie. "You know, Roman and I knew that the first few weeks being back wasn't going to be easy. We just need to find a routine."

"Well," Kaitlyn offered. "You can count me in for help whenever you need it."

Zoe and Nattie both nodded in agreement.

Lexi grinned. "Thanks guys. My dad used to bring me on the road with him from time to time." She glanced at Nattie. "Nattie you remember, right?"

Natalya nodded. "Yeah, there were always people willing to keep an eye on us when they couldn't."

Lexi toyed with the rim of her glass. "Of course we were a lot older than Alea, but I knew there had to be a way for me to balance my career and motherhood."

"Have you considered a nanny?" Kaitlyn asked.

Lexi nodded. "We have and it is an option if we can't make it work on our own, but Naomi has also volunteered to help and believe it or not, but Nicki and Brie have also said they'd watch Alea, so between all of us, I'm hoping we can handle it."

"What about Amber?" Zoe asked and Seth watched Lexi's face screw into a frown. She'd discussed her idea with him and while he really hated it, fundamentally he did agree. Unfortunately, it was time for his beautiful Amber to receive some tough love.

Lexi sighed. "I know she wants to help, but at this point I'm afraid we're going to have to try and stick to our plan, which means leaving her out from this point forward."

Kaitlyn leveled a worried look on her. "You still think this is a good idea?"

Lexi nodded. "Roman, Seth and I were talking about it and we agree she's going to have to hit rock bottom before anything is going to change."

Zoe shook her head. "I hate seeing her like this and I hate what we're going to do to her."

"I don't like it either," Lexi agreed. "But it's for her own good."

"Still," Zoe said. "It seems cruel to just abandon her like this."

"Trust me, I understand," Lexi said. "But we want her back, right?"

They all nodded.

"Then unless someone has a better idea, we move forward with this one."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"That was too much fun," Lexi giggled against Kaitlyn as she, Nattie, Brie and Nikki all stumbled through the entrance curtain backstage. Amber stood a few feet away and watched the group joke and huddle together. She'd seen the Traditional Diva's Christmas match on the monitor. A match she had not been included in, despite being a diva.

"Girl," Namoi began. "You were rockin that short outfit. Though I still think you should have taken the bikini from Eva Marie."

Lexi grinned. "Not only would Roman have made me pay for wearing that on live television, I'm also still a little iffy about my stretch marks. This one piece was perfect."'

"It sure was," Roman rumbled from a few feet away where he stood holding Alea. She stepped away from Kaitlyn, walked over to Roman and leaned into him. He wrapped his free arm around Lexi, pulled her against him and planted a kiss on her that would have been totally inappropriate if Alea had been old enough to understand.

Envy and pain streaked through Amber as she watched their open display of love. Roman and Lexi had such a wonderful relationship, so filled with passion and respect. Unable to watch, Amber turned away and slowly began to back out of the group. She'd had that type of relationship with Seth, until she'd gone and screwed it up and now she missed having someone love her like that. Watching Lexi and Roman only served as a painful reminder of what she'd lost.

Once clear of the group she headed for the locker room to retrieve her belongings. Ever since that day two week ago when Seth took Alea from her, Lexi and Roman had kept her away from the baby. Of course they'd also began keeping their distance and she was starting to feel the loss of their friendship. Obviously they'd chosen Seth over her. Why shouldn't they? They'd known Seth a lot longer. Hell, Roman and Seth were best friends. It only made sense they'd side with him.

The loss of Lexi's friendship stung and like a open wound, continued to sting every time she saw Lexi, or one of the team. Nattie, Naomi, even Kaitlyn seemed to distance themselves from her. Of course since she'd stopped sharing a hotel room with Kaitlyn without explanation as to why, she kind of expected the cold shoulder.

While Zoe and Dean still interacted with her, she could feel the change in the dynamic of their relationship. It was as if they were only conversing and working with her because they had to. What had she done, aside from focusing on her career, to warrant such a reaction from them?

The result of losing the group she'd called friends for the last year and a half left her with an emptiness she hadn't known before. The loneliness she thought she'd banished when she met Seth returned and with it a depression so deep it settled in her very soul. Somehow she'd managed to continue to do her job, but beyond that her ability to function was limited.

Thankfully, with the show nearly over, it was finally time for the stars to go home to their families for the holidays. That was both a curse and a blessing. Being away from everyone would definitely give her a much needed break, but instead of going with Seth back to his parents, she'd be headed back to her apartment in Tampa. Guess it was a good thing she decided to hang onto the tiny one bedroom place she'd rented when she was just starting in NXT. Otherwise, with no family and now apparently no friends, she'd have had no place to go.

* * *

Seth watched as Amber slowly backed away from the group. Without a word she turned and disappeared down the hallway, leaving them all behind. She looked so sad, so lost...it made his heart ache. All he wanted to do was gather her close and tell her everything would be all right.

He stepped away from the group as they celebrated and stared down the now empty corridor. Knowing she'd probably gone back to the diva's locker room, he could easily go after her. And then what? She'd pushed him away. She'd been the one to make the career or love decision without considering how she could have both. At this point there wasn't anything he could do to change the past.

A warm hand landed on his shoulder and Seth turned to see Kaitlyn standing next to him. There was understanding and empathy in her eyes. He sighed as he turned to look back down the empty corridor. "She's hurting."

"I know," Kaitlyn murmured. "I also know seeing her in pain makes you hurt too."

He nodded. "I miss her so much. I just wish I could somehow make her see the error of her ways." He raked a hand through his loose hair. "She's so damn proud and so damn stubborn. I'm scared, K." He glanced over at her. "She's spiraling toward self-destruction and it's killing me to know there's nothing I can do to stop it."

Kaitlyn slid her arms around his waist and pressed a hug to his back. "Maybe Lexi's plan isn't working. Maybe this isn't the right thing for Amber."

He shrugged. "Maybe. But what else can we do when she won't admit there's anything wrong and won't ask for help?"

Kaitlyn rested her chin on his back as she looked up at him. "Have you tried talking to her lately?"

"You think I should?"

"I think you should follow whatever your gut tells you to do," she replied.

His gut was telling him he needed to at least try and do something before she left. He pulled away. "I'm gonna go talk to her."

Kaitlyn smiled as she backed up. "Good luck."

"Thanks." He headed down the corridor with the hopes of finding Amber before she exited the building. What exactly would he say when he found her? It wasn't as if she'd been all that interested in talking to him before now. He'd just rounded the corner to the diva's locker room when Amber emerged.

She stopped short at the sight of him and he noted the pain that flickered in her eyes. "You lost?" she asked.

He shook his head as he noted her snarky tone. "I was hoping to talk to you."

"Why?"

He nearly cringed at the suspicion in her tone. Had he caused that? Did she really think he had ulterior motives or would hurt her intentionally? "I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

She folded her arms across her chest in a posture that screamed keep your distance. "I'm fine."

She didn't look fine to him. "Amber-"

She held up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "Whatever you're going to say, save it for your new girlfriend, okay? Because I don't want to hear it."

He jerked at her statement and felt his brow knit as her words settled in his mind. New girlfriend? "What girlfriend?"

She rolled her eyes. "Jesus, can you at least respect me enough to tell me the truth."

Stunned by her accusation, he simply shook his head at her. "I do respect you, Amber and I don't have another girlfriend. I don't want another girlfriend."

"Wow," she muttered as she turned and grabbed her belongings. "Okay, fine. Have it your way, Seth. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with Kaitlyn. I'm sure your family will love her."

Her words pelted him like tiny daggers and only served to piss him off. She actually thought he was with Kaitlyn now? "Wait just a fucking minute." He reached out and snagged her by the arm. She turned back and looked at him and he could see the pain in her eyes. "I'm not dating Kaitlyn," he said. "She's only a friend and that's all she'll ever be to me because I love you, damn it."

For a brief second he thought he saw joy in her expression, but before he could capitalize on the emotion, it was gone. "You have a funny way of showing it," she spat as her anger returned full force. "Ever since you took Alea from me two weeks ago, Roman and Lexi haven't let me near her. Hell, nobody from our group, including you, has made any attempt to talk to me." She nearly sneered at him. "Congratulations, Seth. If your goal was to make me look completely incompetent, then you succeeded."

He opened his mouth to argue, only to have her plow right over him. "Just go on back to your friends and don't worry about me." She yanked her arm out of his grip. "I'll be fine." Before he could argue she turned and walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

_I generally don't write notes before or after the chapters. I try to just let the story speak for itself (unless I'm posting a warning for inappropriateness). However, I've never really written anything this deep or disturbing, so I feel the need this time. I've worked for days on the next few chapters and I hope that I do the story justice with them as my goal is to show how Amber's thoughts twist and morph without her realizing it. I had a lot of people tell me in Nefarious Intentions that they didn't like Amber. My goal here is to convey to the reader that Amber is not just being some crybaby wimp, but is suffering with a mental illness. Hopefully I reach my goal. And thank you again for reading._

* * *

Chapter 15

Amber hadn't slept at all. After arriving at her apartment late the night before, she'd simply sat alone in her sparse and dusty space and stared out the window. The silence slowly consuming her. She tried not to think about Seth and the others or work and her career. So far she wasn't having much luck.

The last thing she'd expected was the overwhelming feeling of loneliness that came from being by herself and with it a disturbingly deep and profound sadness. She'd tried to tell herself that she didn't need anyone. That after spending the better part of ten years all alone, she was used to it and could do it again, but as she sat alone in the dark, she couldn't find the strength to back up those thoughts. Just being here, by herself during a holiday that was meant to be shared with family and friends served as a stark reminder of all that she'd lost over the last few months.

If she were being honest with herself, she would admit that after finally finding love and meaningful friendships she hadn't wanted to go back to being alone. The ugly truth was, she missed Seth. She missed Lexi and Roman and little Alea and the rest of their close knit group.

Knowing she had ten more days of the nearly unbearable silence and misery ahead, she pushed off the couch and forced herself to get changed. Then she went out. For reasons she couldn't quite understand, it seemed important to try and at least pretend her life was somewhat normal. Which meant buying groceries and cleaning supplies. As she shopped she did her best to ignore the bombardment of garish holiday decorations and the constant uttering of well wishes from sales people and complete strangers alike.

Exhausted and miserable, all she wanted was a few staples from the grocery store. That way, if she managed to find her appetite she'd have something to eat.

On the way back to her apartment she decided to stop at an express clinic. Maybe if she explained her insomnia to a doctor he or she would prescribe some sleeping pills. She never was much of a pill person, but she couldn't go on not sleeping either. And the melatonin she'd been taking on the road just wasn't cutting it. Normally, using it meant she could manage about four hours a night before worries creeped back in and nightmares appeared from the recesses of her mind. However being on the road, she could occupy herself when sleep refused to come, but being a home and alone...

An hour later she walked out of the pharmacy with a 10 day prescription of sleeping pills. As she stared at the sparkling lights and listened to the blending of music from one store to the next a thought occurred to her. Maybe she could just keep taking the pills and sleep her way through Christmas and New Years. She smirked at that idea as she crossed the street and stopped in front of the liquor store. She arched a brow at the display in the window. Or maybe she could drink her way through the holiday instead. Her father always talked about how alcohol made him numb until he couldn't feel anything and didn't care.

It was because of him she'd never had much to do with alcohol, but at that very moment she found herself contemplating the idea. Had he carried this same sadness and guilt within him that she felt now? He'd used alcohol to numb the pain and apparently it worked, at least temporarily, because he always went back for more. So there had to be some merit to his statement. Maybe...just maybe this one time she could try it his way and see what it was like to not feel anything. She could buy a single bottle of something just to get her over the holiday hump. Still toying with the idea she pulled open the door and walked inside.

* * *

Several hours later, dressed in her pajamas, Amber sat curled up in her bed watching sappy Christmas movies while she sipped I her large glass of vodka and orange juice. Even after drinking on it for over nearly two hours, she could still feel the slight burn of the liquid as it coated her throat. Unfortunately she could also still feel that bone aching sadness she'd carried with her for days. Maybe she simply wasn't drunk enough yet. She glanced over at the pill bottle setting on the bedside table and reached for it. If she took one of those it would definitely put her to sleep and the pain would go away, at least for a little while.

_What about when you wake up?_ Tears welled and the ache in her heart grew. There wasn't any doubt in her mind that the moment she opened her eyes, the loneliness would return and with it the sorrow and regret.

She blinked, sending tears trickling down her cheeks. She'd given up everything in order to appease management and further her career. Only now, she realized, the best she could ever hope for was to end up as a jobber on the main roster or worse yet, back in NXT. Most likely they'd simply release her when her contract was up. Then what in the hell was she supposed to do?

She'd pushed away her friends and the one person in the world who meant more to her than her own life. Amber held the picture of her and Seth at Roman and Lexi's wedding and stared at his image. It was such happy and joyous day and she'd been so very honored to be a part of it.

Back then, everything in her world had been perfect. Back then, her future, both professionally and personally, had been so bright. Funny how in less than a year her world could come crashing down around her.

She stroked a thumb over the image of Seth as the pain, fresh and sharp sliced through her yet again. There wasn't any way she could keep doing this. Torturing herself day in and day out with the nearly non-existent hope that she might be able to turn it all around. It just wasn't worth it to fight. Not when she had no real reason to keep fighting. Not anymore.

She glanced down at the bottle of sleeping pills then back to the the picture. It would be easy...so very easy, to make the pain go away forever.

But what about Seth? Seth, she thought, as she returned the pill bottle to the bedside table, then picked up the large drink she'd been nursing and took a long swallow, would be better off without her. All she needed to do was get drunk enough to work up the nerve. Then night night Amber.

Everyone was off living their own lives and they weren't due back to work until after the new year. By then she'd be long gone. Of course she doubted anyone would miss her anyway. After another quick chug from her glass she turned her bleary gaze back to the photograph.

_Seth_...her Seth. He was so damn handsome with his beard and wild two tone hair. So very sweet and caring. He'd been out of her league from the very beginning, yet somehow he'd only had eyes for her. Just like everything good that happened in her life, she'd managed to fuck things up with him.

She closed her eyes and an image of him holding Alea popped into her head. He would make such a great father some day. Hopefully he could find someone new to love. Someone who would be worthy of receiving his love.

Another shot of pain sliced through her at that thought and she sobbed into the silence. Her last words to him had been said out of anger and frustration. She didn't want that to be how it ended between them. The need to hear his voice, to take the sound and sight of him with her, overwhelmed Amber. She set the nearly empty cup down and fumbled for her cell. On a slur she used the voice command to dial his number. Just one last time. She just needed to hear his voice to ask for his forgiveness and then she'd make the pain go away once and for all.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Seth wandered aimlessly through his parent's big farmhouse as he listened to his sister and brother argue over the merits and pitfalls of the recently enacted health care act. The moment they'd started talking politics he'd lost interest and exited the room. The last thing he wanted to do was have a heated debate on Christmas.

Because of his touring schedule he didn't get to see his siblings all that much and he'd been looking forward to spending some time with them. Only now that they were here he couldn't seem to find it in himself to actively engage with them. Not with his mind on other things.

He stared out the kitchen window at the brightness of the fresh snowfall that left the wooded area behind the house looking very much like a Currier and Ives painting. All it needed was a couple of deer standing at the edge of the treeline for it to be picture perfect.

Amber would have enjoyed this was all he could think as he closed his eyes and swallowed down the lump in his throat. She would have enjoyed both the snowfall, the fire burning in fireplace and the lively debate with is family. More important, he would have loved to have her with him, but she'd chosen a different path and he needed to figure out a way to accept that fact. On a sigh, he turned and headed into the den. It was time he tried to enjoy Christmas and stop worrying over her.

He'd just eased onto the couch next to his sister when his cell phone began to ring. Seth pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced at the screen. Amber's face stared back at him. His finger hesitated over the decline button as he considered what to do. After the lambasting she gave him two days ago what could she possibly have to say that couldn't wait until after Christmas?

It wasn't as if she hadn't made her feelings clear the other day. Maybe it would be best if he simply ignored her call and dealt with the fallout later. At least that way he wouldn't risk ruining his family's Christmas with all of his personal drama. Of course if he didn't answer, he'd spend the rest of the evening wondering what she wanted and feeling guilty for not talking to her. He pressed the send button. "Hello?"

Silence met his greeting and instantly his skin prickled with awareness. "Amber?" _More silence._ "Honey are you there?"

"I-I'm sorry," she finally slurred in his ear. "I-I sh-shouldn't have called."

Worry tickled the edges of his mind. Something was terribly wrong. "No." He stood up and walked to the window, away from where his family was sitting. "It's fine. What's going on?"

There was silence again and a slow sickness started to build low in his belly. "Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No," she finally sobbed after a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I did to you and everything I've said. Its all my fault." Her words tumbled together banging into each other until he was struggling to keep up. "I never meant to hurt you. I'm just so messed up. I-I just can't…" her words trailed off.

"You can't what?" He turned a panicked gaze toward his family who now watched with confused curiosity.

"I-I can't do this anymore," she murmured, her words soft, garbled and ominous sounding. _Had she been drinking?_

"Can't do what anymore?" The ugly silence returned, making Seth's stomach turn. "Baby, talk to me."

"I-I n-need...need to know you forgive me," she replied, not answering his question.

"Forgive you for what? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Yes, I have. I hurt you. I never meant to, but I did and I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "Please say you forgive me."

"Okay, I forgive you. Amber, honey, have you been drinking?"

"Yes," she replied. "I-I thought it would make it easier."

"Make what easier?" A fresh shot of adrenaline coursed through his veins at the meaning behind her statement. She was drunk, obviously depressed and not making any sense. "Baby, please...Make what easier?"

"I love you," she whispered. "I've always loved you, but you deserve better."

"Don't say that. I deserve you. I _want_ you," Seth pleaded. "I love you, baby. I love you so much."

"Promise me you'll be happy."

_Oh God._ This couldn't be happening. Seth closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them again he'd realize it was just a very bad dream. "I promise. Just, stay on the phone with me okay?"

"I-I can't do that."

He raked a shaky hand through his hair. "Why not?"

"Because it's time for me to go now."

He opened his eyes now as the horror of the moment caught up with him. Over a thousand miles separated them. A full day's drive and a minimum of six hours by plane if he could even get a flight on Christmas eve. He was helpless to stop her. "B-baby, please don't do anything you're gonna regret."

"I already regret so much," she said. "You'll see...this will make it right. I love you, Colby."

A new level of fear streaked through him at the sound of his real name. She never used his real name. Like Roman he'd adopted his stage name for damn near everything. "Amber wait-" Before he could finish his sentence the line went dead.

"No!"

Hands shaking and barely able to think straight, Seth dialed her back. He listened, his heart in his throat as the call rang and eventually dumped into her voice mail. "Baby, please call me back. I love you. Please don't do anything to harm yourself."

"Son?" his mother looked at him, concern in her eyes. "What's going on?"

"I-I" He struggled with his composure. Now certainly wasn't the time to lose it. "I think Amber is going to try and kill herself." Despite his best effort to hold himself together he could feel his entire body vibrating. There had to be somebody that was in Tampa or at least closer to her. Dean had gone back to South Carolina with Zoe. Roman! Immediately he scrolled through his contacts and dialed Roman. When he didn't answer, Seth cursed then tried Lexi's number.

"Seth. Hey Merry Christmas," Lexi answered.

"Lexi I need your help. Something's going on with Amber," Seth practically tripped over the words as he fought to get them out.

"Okay, just calm down a sec. What's going on with Amber?"

He quickly retold the conversation he'd just had with Amber. "She's alone, depressed and drunk. I-I'm afraid she's going to do something stupid. I know it's Christmas Eve, but you and Roman are the closest." He closed his eyes as he tried to will back the panic that had gripped his body. "There's no way I can get to her. Please, Lexi. If anything happens to her..."

"Say no more," Lexi replied. "We're at Roman's parents. We'll leave Alea with them and figure out how to get to Tampa as fast as we can. I'll let you know as soon as we find out anything." She disconnected without another word and Seth immediately collapsed into the closest chair. If she harmed herself because of what he and the others did…

He looked at his phone, dialed her number again only to have it ring into voice mail. Unable to do anything but wait, he dialed again, and again, then switched to texting. All the while he prayed she'd still be alive by the time Lexi and Roman reached her.


	17. Chapter 17

_This will be the last chapter today. I have to write more from this point forward, but I didn't want to leave everyone hanging from that last chapter. Thanks to everyone who is reading and following and commenting._

* * *

Chapter 17

Hours passed as Seth paced his parent's house and he continued to call and text Amber's cell with no response. If Lexi and Roman couldn't get a flight on Christmas Eve they'd have to make the trip by car and it would take the better part of seven hours to drive from Pensacola to Tampa.

If she'd done what he feared, her body would be cold by the time they found her. Grief streaked through him at that thought. He couldn't lose her. _Damn it!_ Seth punched the closed bathroom door and struggled to contain his fear. He knew the frailness of her mental state. Yet he'd allowed Lexi to talk him into this stupid tough love idea. Yes, Amber had finally hit bottom, just like Lexi predicted, but she'd done it when no one could easily reach her. What if they got there too late?

Three hours after his call to Lexi and a text popped up on his phone. _Just landed in Tampa. Need to rent a car, then we'll jet to Amber's. Hang in there...we'll know something soon._

On a heavy sigh, he crashed onto the couch and scrubbed his hands over his face. Somehow they'd managed to book a puddle jumper flight from Pensacola to Tampa. Hopefully it wouldn't already be too late when they got there. When he opened his eyes, his father stood in front of him holding out a glass of scotch. "I think you could use this."

Seth accepted the glass and watched as his father eased into his favorite recliner. "No matter how this plays out, you need to try not to blame yourself, son."

Seth studied the colored liquid in is glass. "How can I not? I didn't really like Lexi's plan, but I agreed to it. If Amber's done something-"

"Stop right there." His dad held up a hand. "You said that Amber needed help and that he refused to get help, correct?"

Seth nodded.

"You said she pushed you away, right?"

He nodded again.

"Okay. Then you need to remember two things. First, the moment she walked away from you she was no longer your responsibility."

"But I still love her," Seth argued then downed the drink in one shot.

"I don't doubt that, but she's also a grown woman who can make her own decisions, Colby. If she did something stupid rather than asking for help, well-" He lifted his glass. "As sad as that would be, because she really is a wonderful girl, it's still on her, not you."

Seth stewed over his father's words for nearly an hour before his phone rang and a picture of Lexi holding Alea appeared on his screen. His swiped his finger to answer. "Well?"

"She's alive," Lexi replied. "She's passed out drunk and from all appearances she might have been going to attempt suicide. Roman found a bottle of prescription sleeping pills next to a very large and nearly empty vodka bottle, but all the pills are accounted for."

Seth closed his eyes as he let his head fall forward and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Thank God."

"Um…" Lexi's voice softened with caution. "Roman just found a note."

Seth felt his body jerk. "What does it say?"

Silence filled his ear and Seth could practically feel his skin crawl. "Lexi," he ground out. "What. Does. It. Say?"

"I really don't think-"

"Just read the damn thing," Seth nearly shouted.

"Fine," she sighed and he could hear the crinkle of paper. "The writing is scribbled and kinda hard to make out, but this is what I think it says," she replied. Then, in a soft and haunting voice she began to read. "I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't go on alone trying to live with the guilt and the pain. Please forgive me."

A chill ripped up Seth's spine as the ugly truth smacked him in the face. "Dear God." He'd nearly lost her, forever.

"Seth, listen to me," Lexi urged. "We got to her in time and we're not going to leave her here alone. As soon as we can get her somewhat sobered up, we'll pack her up and take her back home with us. We won't give her the chance to try it again, okay?"

"I'll see if I can catch a flight down tomorrow," he said as he looked over at his parents. He would spend the remainder of Christmas eve with them and his siblings. Tomorrow he'd work on trying to reach his second family. "I'm not sure if I can because it's Christmas, but if not, I will definitely be down the day after. I can't thank you enough for doing this, Lexi."

"You don't need to thank us, Seth. We love Amber as much as you do. Call us when you get to the airport and Roman will pick you up."

"Text me in the morning and let me know how she's doing."

"I will and, Seth…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry. We got her and we're not going to let her go this time."

* * *

Her head felt as if someone had ripped it open with a hatchet and somewhere close a marching band's drumline was practicing. Amber opened one bleary eye and stared up at the ceiling as confusion mixed with the alcohol induced fog already clouding her brain. She frowned. This wasn't her apartment.

"I was beginning to worry that maybe you had taken more than just the vodka," Lexi's voice whispered through the quiet of the room. Carefully, Amber turned her head to see Lexi sitting in an overstuffed chair a few feet away. How had she gotten to Lexi and Roman's house?

She lifted a hand to her throbbing head and groaned. "How in the hell did I get here?" Her mouth tasted like an old dirty rag and she struggled not to gag.

"Seth," Lexi replied as she pushed up from the chair and walked to the bed. "He called us in a panic. He said he'd gotten an ominous call from you and he was afraid you were going to do something to harm yourself."

Lexi eased onto the bed and looked down at Amber. "Thank God you passed out before you could."

Amber closed her eyes as little blips of memory began to filter through her mind. The sleeping pills and the vodka. The loneliness and the heartache. She'd just wanted to hear his voice one more time. A sudden and violent pain sliced through her and with it the instant need to vomit. She tossed the covers aside, scrambled from the bed and stumbled on unsteady feet to the attached guest bathroom.

Her knees hit the cool tile floor just as her body purged the remnants from her previous night's drinking. She shook and groaned and shivered as sweat beaded on her skin and her body wracked violently with cramps. At that moment she wished she was dead for an entirely different reason and silently promised herself that if she survived this that she'd never drink again.

God, she'd been so stupid to think alcohol was the answer. Had she really fallen so low as to want to take her own life? What if she'd managed to succeed? Behind her she could feel Lexi holding her hair and rubbing her back. She could remember the profound sadness. The raw, all encompassing pain she'd felt the night before and her body shuddered again, as if it was trying to force all the ugliness from her system.

When she finally, blissfully finished emptying herself, she collapsed to the side and closed her eyes. Everything from her hair to her toenails hurt. She could hear Lexi moving around, the sound of water running, then two hands pulling her back.

With no energy to fight, she went willingly and found herself leaning back against Lexi. Lexi wiped a cool cloth over Amber's face and draped it across her forehead. For a moment they simply sat in companionable silence. Questions danced in Amber's mind and eventually made their way to her tongue. "I know Seth called you, but how did I actually get here?"

"We caught a flight to Tampa and found you alone and passed out in your apartment. Once we were sure you hadn't tried to overdose on that bottle of sleeping pills we found, we worked to sober you up enough to bring back here. It was a long drive back and a long night in general."

Long night...Night...Eve...Christmas Eve… Amber groaned. "I'm sorry, Lexi. I ruined your first Christmas with the baby."

"No," Lexi refolded the cloth then wiped it over Amber's forehead a second time. "You didn't. What would have ruined my Christmas was to find out we'd been too late to stop you. That might have just ruined my Christmas forever."

"But it's Christmas morning and you're sitting on the bathroom floor with me when you should be opening gifts with your husband and child."

"Roman went to his folks to get Alea and open gifts," Lexi replied. "We'll have something special together later. He and his family understand that this is where I need to be right now."

Amber raked a shaky hand through her tangled hair. "Still...I feel bad."

"Don't," Lexi shook her head. "If anyone should feel bad...if anyone should be sorry, it's me."

Shock rippled through Amber as she shifted to the side, turned her head and locked gazes with Lexi. "Why are you sorry?"

"Because I was convinced the only way for you to see the error of your ways was for you to hit rock bottom." Lexi sighed. "I talked everyone to intentionally alienate you with the hopes you'd finally come to your senses and we could get you help. Jesus Amber, I never thought you'd try to take your own life." She frowned "Some friend I am, huh?"

"No," Amber curled her fingers around Lexi's wrist, holding her in place. "You're a great friend. You tried to do what you thought was right. You even gave up your Christmas Eve to come rescue me. And…" she paused as she struggled with the words. It was so hard for her to admit, but absolutely necessary that she did. "You were right. I did need to hit rock bottom."

Lexi shook her head. "There had to have been a better way than this. You have no idea how terrible I feel. How terrible we all felt. Closing you out had to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do."

Amber shot her a small smile. "That really means something coming from the woman who gave birth in a hotel room in the middle of a hurricane with no pain medicine."

Lexi visibly shivered and rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me." Silence fell between them as Lexi gave her a sad smile. "I'm so glad you didn't take those pills."

"Me too," Amber replied. "You know, the fact that I'm still here tells me two things."

Lexi arched a brow. "What's that?"

"First, that deep down I really didn't want to go yet. Otherwise I would have taken the sleeping pills before I called Seth."

Lexi nodded. "Good Point. And the second?"

"That I'm not as alone as I thought." She pulled away now. Eased over and rested her head against the cabinet door as she looked back at Lexi and sighed. "This isn't easy for me to admit, but inside my head...things...well...they're not always right. Sometimes my thoughts...they get warped and twisted and...and I don't know how to fix it on my own. Sometimes, like last night, I didn't even realize I'd stumbled down the wrong mental path." She paused as she studied the woman she still considered her best friend. If she could lean on anyone it was Lexi. "I-I need help, Lexi."

"I know, honey." Lexi took her hand and Amber watched as tears welled in her friends eyes. "We'll get you all the help you need. Just promise me you won't ever try to do something like that again, okay?"

Feeling for the first time in weeks that she wasn't actually alone Amber nodded. "I promise."


	18. Chapter 18

_I was listening to music on my Iphone this morning when I came across a song that really hit home with this story. You found me by The Fray. If you've never heard the song, check it out and you'll see what I mean._

* * *

Chapter 18

Exhausted, Seth stepped off the plane and headed for baggage claim. After spending the better part of twenty four hours replaying his heartbreaking conversation with Amber, his mind was all but numb and he was simply going through the motions. He'd just pulled his two suitcases from the conveyor belt and was preparing to call Roman when a familiar voice rumbled behind him. "Well don't you look like shit?"

Seth turned to see Roman standing a few feet away. "Thanks," he shot back. "You'd look like shit too if you hadn't slept yesterday morning." He frowned. "What did you do, track my flight information online?"

Roman grinned as reached for one of the rolling suitcases. "Lexi did and what do you mean you haven't slept since yesterday? The entire reason Lexi called you was so you'd know Amber was okay and you could stop worrying."

"No I couldn't stop worrying," Seth corrected as he followed Roman toward the parking garage even as Amber's voice continued to echo inside his head. "You didn't hear her on the phone, Roman. The despair and resolution in her voice haunted me. Every fucking time I closed my eyes all I could see was you and Lexi finding her cold body." He shook his head as Roman popped the hatch and tossed the bags in the back of the SUV. "I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that I was dreaming you guys said she was okay when in fact she was actually gone."

He slid into the passenger seat, leaned back and closed his eyes. This was real. He was in Pensacola in Roman's Honda CR-V. Amber was safely tucked away at Roman and Lexi's house and she was okay.

"Hey." Seth opened his eyes and glanced over at Roman. "You can stop worrying. She really is okay."

Seth arched a brow. "Would you stop worrying if this was Lexi we were talking about?"

Roman smirked. "No."

Feeling he'd made his point, Seth turned and stared out the window. "How bad was she when you found her?"

"Bro," Roman sighed. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Torture yourself with the details," Roman replied as he looked both ways before pulling out onto the main road. "Nothing good can come from it, so why bother?"

"I just keep picturing her alone in the dark in that tiny apartment and my heart aches." Seth said.

Roman nodded. "Well your imagination probably wasn't far off from how we found her." Roman glanced at him now. "I will tell you that when we first found her, she was clutching a picture of you and her from the wedding."

Seth closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "She told me I deserved better than her and that she was going to make it right. God, Roman, it just kills me that she thinks so little of herself."

"She's ill, Seth."

"Believe me, I know, but how are we supposed to get her the help she needs when she won't admit anything is wrong?"

Roman made a right onto a side road. "She admitted it to Lexi this morning." He glanced at Seth. "Lexi said Amber agreed to see a therapist."

His words had Seth jerking in shock and he arched a brow. "Really? She admitted it?"

Roman nodded. "Lexi told me Amber was pretty freaked out over what she did last night."

Seth sighed as he allowed a tiny bit of hope bloom. "We're all pretty freaked out." He palmed his phone. "You know, she finally texted me a little while ago. She told me she was okay and she was sorry for scaring me and that she'd be in touch soon."

Roman arched a brow. "I'm guessing you didn't tell her you were fling down here today?"

Seth shook his head. "I didn't want to give her the chance to prepare for my arrival and put up her walls."

"You think she'd do that at this point?"

Seth shrugged. "I don't know. Now that she's agreed to see a therapist maybe not, but I don't know if she's changed her mind about me. She admitted that she loves me when I had her on the phone yesterday. I don't want to give her the chance to push me away again simply because she thinks she's damaged goods."

* * *

Amber awoke to the sound of crying. She blinked and for a moment was once again confused as to where she was. Then she remembered her conversation earlier that morning with Lexi. That meant she was still at Lexi and Roman's house which made the crying she heard coming from Alea.

Feeling quite a bit better after an early afternoon nap, Amber tossed the covers off and stood. Her head still hurt, but the tortured pounding she'd suffered with earlier had slowly dulled into a low thud. Hopefully some Ibuprofen and caffeine would kill off the rest. She pressed a hand to her belly as a low gurgling sound caught her by surprise. Was she actually hungry?

She stepped into the hallway and reached Alea's room the same time as Lexi. "I'll get her," Amber offered. "Unless you still don't want me around her."

Lexi gave her a sheepish look. "You're more than welcome to take Alea anytime you want. Roman's folks send us leftovers for dinner, so I'll go get them ready, okay?"

Amber arched a brow. "It's only four o'clock."

"Yes, but I'm starving and I'm sure you probably are too. Besides, it's Christmas. Who cares when we eat?" With that Lexi turned and headed down stairs.

Amber spent the next ten minutes changing and soothing Alea before she headed down stairs with the infant in her arms. The savory aroma of ham and turkey mixed with other appetizing scents and caused Amber's stomach to growl. So she was hungry...how about that?

Still amazed by that revelation, she turned toward the sound of the back door opening and froze. Shock ricocheted through her first, followed immediately by confusion and fear. What was Seth doing here? She wasn't ready to see him, hadn't figured out what she was going to say to him yet.

He stood in the doorway with a haunting look in his eyes as he stared at her. Dark circles encompassed his eyes, circles she knew she'd caused. He released the handle on his rolling suitcase and stalked toward her.

Lexi reached over her shoulder and plucked Alea from her grip just as Seth reached her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling Amber tight against him and with his face buried in her hair, he cried.

Automatically her arms wrapped around him as she closed her eyes and struggled to hold back her own tears. In the year and a half she'd known Seth, not once had she ever seen him cry. Now he sobbed like a baby against her and guilt filled in her as the knowledge that she'd caused his pain, settled into her brain. "Thank God," he murmured against her ear. "I was so scared I'd lost you forever."

His words only made her need to cry more prominent and she sucked in a ragged breath. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry I scared you."

He shook his head against hers. "No, I'm sorry. God, I love you so much and when you hung up on me…" his sentence trailed off on a sob and doing the only thing she could, Amber tightened her grip. "Please don't push me away again."

"No," she choked on a sob of her own. "No more pushing people away...especially you."


	19. Chapter 19

_**WARNING: Not an appropriate chapter to be reading around children or at work.**_

* * *

Chapter 19

Seth awoke with a start. Eyes wide, he sat up, glanced around the room and sighed in relief as he turned to find Amber sleeping soundly next to him. _Thank God!_ It seemed now that every time he closed his eyes, he'd dreamed about that damn phone call. He could all but hear the desperation and pain in her voice echoing through his head. How in the hell was he ever going to shake that memory or worse yet, the horrible feelings of guilt and loss that came with it?

He shifted onto his side and and stared down at her. The moment she was in his arms, he'd instantly felt better, but she'd looked so pale and frightened. He hated knowing he'd been the one to cause those feelings. Being the good friends they were, Lexi and Roman gave him and Amber the space they needed and they'd spent the better part of the evening simply talking with her also doing quite a bit of crying. Those tears ripped at him, leaving him just as wounded and raw as she was. He felt terrible for what he'd done to her, what the team had done to her, but maybe in some small way, Lexi had been right.

Amber had needed to hit rock bottom in order for her to reach out for help. The fact that he'd been the one she called in that desperate moment told him he hadn't lost her. She loved him and he'd never break that love and trust again. Despite his guilt over the situation he knew the only thing that mattered now was making sure to give her all the support she needed in whatever capacity he could.

Unable to resist the urge to touch her, Seth reached down and stroked a knuckle along her cheek. _My Amber. My beautiful Amber._ Even with that funky hair, he still saw her as the most beautiful creature to walk the earth. He wanted her, needed her in ways he'd never imagined possible. She filled the empty void in his heart he hadn't known existed until she walked into his life. In essence, she completed him and if she'd somehow managed to succeed in her suicide attempt he knew he would have never been whole again.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stared dreamily up at him. "Seth? Is something wrong?"

"No." He shook his head as he choked back the emotions threatening to pour from within. "Nothing's wrong."

"What are you doing?"

He managed a small grin. "Just thanking my lucky stars while I watch you sleep."

She returned his smile as she reached for him now. "I missed sleeping in your arms. I didn't realize it until you weren't there anymore, but I sleep better when I'm in your arms."

Her admission warmed his heart and had him lowering his head to her her now to swipe a soft kiss across her lips. "I missed having you in my arms." He nibbled on her bottom lip. "I missed waking up with you pressed against me." Then he trailed his kisses along her jaw to the sweet spot just below her ear. "I missed making love to you."

"Well," she whispered as her fingers curled into his back. "How about we refresh your memory?"

He grinned against her neck. "I like that idea."

Within seconds he'd stripped her naked then simply took a moment to enjoy the view. While she had the body of an athlete, at the moment it was a bit on the thin side. More evidence of the emotional roller coaster she'd ridden over the past few months. Thankfully, it was something easily remedied.

Yet, despite the lack of nutrition, her breasts remained full and perky with lovely rose colored nipples that tightened into sensitive points when arouse. His mouth watered to taste those tempting little buds. He lowered his head and sucked one succulent peak between his lips. Her gasp of shock tore through the silence as she cradled his head in her arm. Taking his time he nibble, sucked and all but tortured her body to respond, until he felt her nipple tighten against his tongue.

_Yeah baby, that's it._

He shifted over her and worked the other peak until it too succumb to his ministrations and Amber moaned with need. As his own desire built upon itself, he began inching his way down her body, planting soft, open mouth kisses against her ribs, her stomach and abdomen.

As he reached her mound he took a moment to press his lips above it, close his eyes and dream of the day when she'd be round with his child. After watching Roman and Lexi navigate the treacherous waters of pregnancy and holding Alea in his arms he desperately wanted a child of his own. He wanted one with Amber.

_It's too soon._ Logic reminded him. She had issues that needed addressing first. Still, the knowledge that neither of them was ready and she was probably still on birth control, didn't extinguish the need rising inside him.

Slowly, he stripped off her panties and watched with a humbling joy as she parted her legs for him. Her aromatic essence drifted toward him as he lowered himself between her splayed thighs. He'd missed the taste of her, the way she grew wetter whenever he touched her and the sweet sound of his name tumbling from her lips when she cried out in passion.

The first swipe of his tongue through her folds left him wanting more and parched like a man in a desert, he drank from her. Above him she whimpered and writhed, gasped and shook until her hand grasped his head and her fingers laced through his riot of hair.

_Yes, baby. Come for me!_

He worked her harder, slipped two fingers into her tight channel. Then demanded even more, until her fingers tightened against his scalp and she pulse against his tongue. His name tore from her lips, the sound not much louder than a whisper against the air, yet it landed on him like a cacophony of noise he'd desperately needed to hear.

Before her climax completely wore away, he stripped off his boxers, inched up her body and positioned himself at her opening. She stared up at him, those passion filled eyes, begging him for more. He watched her now as he gently breached her entrance. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened on a silent cry as she held his gaze. A feeling of rightness fell over him as he made them one and one word filled his passion filled mind.

_Home!_

This was where he belonged. "Marry me, Amber." The words tumbled from his lips in the same manner water streamed over a mountain fall.

Her eyes widened, shock dancing through those beautiful green irises. "What?"

He grinned now as he realized just how off guard his proposal caught her. Ever since Roman and Lexi's wedding, he'd been toying with the idea of proposing. He'd even managed to buy her a ring without her knowledge, but there had never seemed to be a right time. Then with everything that happened he'd thought he'd lost the chance.

This, he realize...this was the moment. It just felt right. He leaned down, pressed his chest to hers and swiped a gentle kiss across her lips as his emotions welled. "I love you, Amber," he began as he let those emotions flow from him. He needed her to see, to hear, to feel everything he saw, heard and felt. He desperately needed her to say yes. "I never want you to doubt that fact. I never want you to think you're alone again. It wasn't until I didn't have you anymore that I realized how much I missed you or how much you complete me. I need you. Will you marry me?"

He waited for what felt like an eternity before a slow grin finally tipped her lips and she nodded. "Yes, I will marry you." She lifted a hand and stroked it along the side of his face. "I love you so much, Colby. I didn't realize it until we were apart, but you really are my soul mate."

Hearing her use his real name helped to erase some the horrible guilt and despair he'd carried since her phone call. He grinned now as he slid nearly all the way out of her, then thrust home a second time. _Heaven. _That's the only word he could think of to describe how he was feeling in that moment. Like he was in heaven. "I have a ring for you already," he said as he began a slow in and out glide between their bodies. "It's in the suitcase, I'll get it for you."

Her hands slid down his back, her fingers dancing along his hips until could feel them digging into his ass, holding him tight. "When we're done," she ordered. "The ring can wait. I can't."

He chuckled at her statement and the newly lit fire in her eyes. A fire he realized, that burned only for him. "Insatiable little wench."

"Yes, but you love me that way," she shot back on a wry grin.

He moved above her, placed her legs against his shoulders, shifting his angle of entry and drove back in. His grin widened as her eyes drifted closed on a gasp. "You're right, I do."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Seth awoke the next morning to an empty bed and cold sheets. He bolted upright and frowned. _Where was she?_

After they'd made love he'd dug through his bag and found the single carat heart shaped engagement ring with smaller diamonds set into the band. She'd cried as he'd placed the ring on her finger. Then they'd made love again and he'd planned to take her again when they awoke, but it appeared she had other ideas.

The delicious aroma of coffee and was that bacon...caught his attention. Maybe she was down stairs with Lexi and Roman already. Seth tossed on a pair of sweatpants and forgoing a shirt headed down stairs. What he saw when he stepped into the kitchen had his heart swelling with love.

Amber stood at the stove, Alea perched on her hip as she flipped pancakes with her other hand. She looked so beautiful with her hair still mussed from too much sex and not enough sleep, a smile on her face and a baby in her arms. The only way the moment could have been more perfect was it it had been their baby instead of Alea. It was moment he knew would forever be burned into his mind, a picture he would never forget.

She turned now, spotted him and smiled. HIs heart swelled even more. "Good morning."

Unable to resist, he crossed to her now and slipped an arm around her and Alea as he leaned in for a kiss. "Good morning, beautiful," he murmured as he pulled back. "What's all this?"

Amber's smile remained in place and he couldn't help but grin in response. It was so wonderful to finally see her happy. "Lexi and Roman went to the airport to pick up her dad. I was already awake so I told her I'd watch Alea and make some breakfast for when they get back."

"Well." He pressed a quick kiss to her lips again. "You should know, I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful sight than finding you in the kitchen, wearing only one of my shirts while all soft and dreamy looking and holding a baby."

"So-" She grinned. "You're saying you want me half naked and pregnant after we're married?"

Alea reached for him and he scooped her out of Amber's arms. "All the damn time," he replied with a devilish smile. "At least the half naked part," he qualified. "The pregnant we'll have to see about."

"Why is that?" she asked as she turned to the stove and flipped the pancakes again.

"Well." He took Alea's tiny hand in his and marveled at how her tiny fingers were barely able to wrap around his pinky. She was just so damn little, yet carried such a big personality already. "I definitely want children and I want them with you, but I know that will need to wait for awhile."

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Only for a few years. Maybe sooner if management releases me."

At her statement Seth paused and he felt the scowl cross his face. "What if you mean if management releases you? What makes you think they're unhappy with you?"

She began scooping up the pancakes and placing them on a plate. "Well, they haven't used me in the ring since before the Shield's breakup and I'm getting less and less camera time." She picked up the plate and sat it in the microwave, then returned to the griddle where she poured out the scrambled egg mixture. "They completely left me out of the traditional Diva's christmas match."

Seth frowned as Alea grabbed a handful of his hair. "I never gave it much thought, but you're right. Ouch...dang, squirt." He reached up and pulled Alea's hand free. "No, baby," he scolded in a tone that was firm yet not too rough. Alea stared at him, blinked then reached for The Shield dog tags he wore around his neck. He considered the ramification of allowing her to play with the tags, then decided it was fine and turned his attention back to Amber. "I think maybe we need to talk to the rest of the team about this and see what we might be able to do to help."

Amber gave him a soft smile. "I appreciate it."

He closed the distance between them, slid his free arm around her waist and pulled her against his other side. "Anything for you, baby." He brushed a soft kiss across her lips. "So did Lexi see the ring?"

Amber grinned. "She was so happy for me that she squealed like a teenage girl."

"Good." He brushed another kiss across her lips, then nibbled on her bottom lip, beseeching her for more. She opened to him and Seth took the kiss deeper. Unbidden need began to build deep inside. The wasn't any way he'd ever have enough of her.

The back door opened, followed by a bustle of noise. "Damn, bro," Roman said as he observed Seth and Amber. "Not in front of my daughter."

Seth pulled back and grinned down at Amber then turned to look at his friend. "First of all, she's not old enough to understand and second, you and Lexi are constantly sucking face in front of her."

"We do not," Lexi argued even as Bret set his bag down and grinned as he reached for Alea.

"Come to Grandpa, sweetpea." He scooped her into his arms then turned to look back at Lexi. "You know, Seth is right. Practically every time I see you two, you're playing tonsil hockey."

Lexi's eyes widened. "Dad!"

"Oh get over yourself," he mumbled as he turned his attention to Alea. "There's nothing wrong with showing love and affection in front of her. It's good for her see how much her parents love each other. It's something you didn't get enough of when you were little." Without waiting for Lexi to reply he switched his focus to Amber. "How are you feeling, honey?"

She nodded. "A lot better. Thank you, Mr. Hart."

He pulled Amber into a half hug. "I'm glad to hear that." He pulled back and appeared to assess her. "You're way too thin and you look a little pale yet. Nothing some rest and good food won't fix. What about thearpy?"

Amber nodded to Lexi. "Lexi is going to call her therapist when she opens in a few hours and see if she'll take me."

"And you're going to go, right?"

Amber nodded. "Yes, sir. I am."

Bret nodded. "Good. Now, later after I'm settled in you and I need to have a talk."

Seth watched Amber's eyes go wide with shock and apprehension. "Yes, sir."

"Oh don't look so damn worried," Bret replied. "It's all good."

"Actually," Seth added. "I we all need to have a little talk. Amber has an issue with work I think we could help her with."

Once they were seated for breakfast, Bret looked across the table at Amber. "So what's going on?"

Seth quickly explained the problem with work. "I'm just afraid that Amber might have a legitimate fear in that they might release her after her contract is up," he finished.

"So what can we do to fix this," Roman asked.

Lexi tapped her fork on the table. "I could go to management and demand a storyline with Amber." She glanced from on to the other around the table. "I'm not tied to any particular storyline right now and I've never really addressed her turning on Seth and Roman."

Bret nodded. "It's an angle that makes sense for creative to follow."

"But I can't beat you in the ring," Amber argued. "I don't have the skills or talent and I certainly don't have the sizzle."

"Who says?" Lexi shot back.

"Management," Amber replied. "They don't think I have what it takes to be the star you are."

Bret set his napkin down. "Well, I think management is wrong. And what you don't know we can fix."

Lexi nodded. "I could intentionally take a loss and help put you over. It really wouldn't hurt me much."

"I don't know about that," Bret argued. "If Amber's ring skills aren't up to par, then a loss to her might look suspicious to the fans."

"So what do you suggest?" Amber asked. She'd gladly take any advice the wily veteran was willing to share.

"When do you guys go back?" Bret asked

"January 5th," Seth replied.

"Roman, does your dad still have part ownership in that local wrestling league?"

Roman nodded. "As far as I know, he does."

"Can you call him after breakfast and have him come over?" Bret asked.

"Sure." Roman narrowed his gaze. "What are you thinking?"

Bret grinned now as he shared a knowing look with Lexi. "I'm thinking that we have a little over a week to turn Amber into a star."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Amber sat in the oversize chair in the spare bedroom and watched as the man she knew as _The Hitman_ went about unpacking his bag. "I know you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk with you alone," he said casually.

She nodded as she placed her hands in her lap. "The question did cross my mind."

Bret smirked and opened the dresser drawer. "Let me start by saying that Lexi has come to really care about you. When I spoke with her yesterday she told me what happened on Christmas Eve." He picked up his shirts and paused. "I think you should know that while she might look cool and collected on the outside, inside she's a wreck over it. She feels as if this was all her fault."

Shock zipped though Amber as she stared wide eyed at one of her idols. "It's nobody's fault but my own," she argued.

Bret turned now and placed his shirts in the dresser drawer. "I won't argue with that, because I think what you did was incredibly stupid."

His verbal jab hit Amber square in the chest and she sucked in a quick breath to keep from instantly tearing up.

"However." He crossed to her now and eased down into the empty chair next to her. "I realize that things aren't quite right inside your head and that was a factor in why you did what you did."

She nodded. "I'm glad you understand. Apparently, I just don't think like a normal person," she replied as she felt the need to explain. "In my head things get twisted around until my reality is different from actual reality." Despite her best effort tears began to well. "I hate having to second guess decision I make and I really hate feeling guilty for everything."

"The fact you recognize you have a problem is good and the fact that you're willing to face it head on and get help is huge." He reached for her, took her hand in his. "You have a lot of people here who love you very much and don't want to see anything bad happen to you. That list now includes me."

She looked at him now, tears trickling down her cheeks. "Why? You don't really know me."

"I know that Lexi thinks the world of you and she loves you very much. Anybody who my daughter is willing to invest so much emotion and trust into is someone I want in my life too. So-" He arched a brow now and grinned. "I want you to know that while you don't know me very well right now, I hope that will change and I want you to think of me as a surrogate dad." He patted her hand. "If you have an issue, call me. If you need help or just want to talk, call me and if you ever need anything...call me."

She stared at him, stunned by what she was hearing. "I don't know what to say."

He grinned. "You don't have to say anything. Just know I'm here for you just as I'd be here for Lexi." He snapped his fingers. "Which brings me to our next topic. I know we talked about it earlier and I kinda made the decision without asking you, so are you sure you're ready for me to train you?"

Instantly, she nodded. What wrestler, even one who wasn't quite in their right mind, would pass up an opportunity to be trained by the great Hitman? "I would be honored if you'd train me."

"I'm happy to do it," he replied, but you should know I'm a demanding, perfectionist, hard ass." He grinned. "Just ask my daughter."

"You trained Lexi," Amber said, the words half statement and half question and nearly smacked herself before the words were completely out of her mouth. _Of course he trained Lexi._

Bret nodded. "Me, her Uncle Jim and when he was alive and her grandfather."

Amber's eyes widened as realization set in. "She trained in the Hart Dungeon?"

Bret grinned. "She did, at least for a little while. Of course, that's the reason why she is as good as she is. I can make you that good too, but it will take time and you're not always going to like me."

"I want to be a star," Amber said as excitement began to build from within. "I want to be as good as Lexi and I'm willing to do whatever it takes."

"Including taking verbal abuse and severe critiquing from me?"

She smiled through her tears. "If you think I'm worth spending time on, then I'm willing to take whatever you feel I need."

He nodded. "That's what I want to hear. We'll start this afternoon, so be prepared to show me what you know and be ready to learn. In the meantime I want you to remember what I said. If you ever need anything and you're not comfortable going to Seth, Lexi or the others, call me, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay and thank you, sir."

"Dad," he corrected. "You can call me dad or pops or if you're not comfortable with that just call me Bret." He paused and leveled a look on her that made Amber squirm. "I also want to make one thing very clear."

"Yes?"

"If you ever try anything so stupid again I will personally kick your ass."

* * *

Later that afternoon, flanked by Roman and Lexi, Amber walked into the local gym, behind Bret and Sika. Apprehension and excitement blended to have her nerves dancing. It was hard for her to believe she was about to start a new training session with the great Hitman.

Seth took her hand in his and gave her a reassuring squeeze and she grinned as she glanced from Seth to Roman. "It's was nice of your mom to keep Alea for us.".

Sika chuckled. "Any time my wife can get the chance to spoil our grandbaby she'll take it. Trust me, it's her pleasure."

"Good to know," she replied, then paused. "Just curious. Why are we coming here instead of going to the training center?"

"Orlando is more than just a few hours from here. We'd have to get a hotel and stay overnight," Seth explained.

"They also can't know we're doing this, because we haven't gotten permission." Lexi air quoted the word with her fingers. "And dad isn't an official trainer with them."

Amber stopped. "Wait...are we not supposed to do this?" She glanced between her friends as worry claimed her thoughts. "I don't want anyone getting in trouble over this."

Roman placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her forward. "Would you stop worrying and let us take care of management?"

"But-"

She protested only to have Bret cut her off. "Do you want me to train you?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Then we're doing this my way. Now all four of you need to go get changed and get your asses in the ring."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"What in the hell was that?" Bret grumbled as Amber stepped back to give Lexi room to stand.

"It was a hip toss," Amber replied.

"It was sloppy," Bret corrected. "Who taught you that maneuver?"

"I learned it at the training center." Feeling slightly defensive, she pushed the hair from her face. Didn't he realize she was giving him her best? "I learned all my moves at the training center."

"Figures," Bret mumbled as he shook his head. "It's nothing against you, hon," he added. "I know you're trying." He motioned to Seth. "Into the ring." Then he turned his attention to Lexi. "I want you to work with Seth and show Amber a good hip toss."

Lexi nodded and moved into position.

"Now," Bret said with instruction in his tone. "A good hip toss should be quick. It's needs to snap and you need to be in control the entire time." He pointed to Lexi. "Watch her feet the first time." He nodded. "Do it."

Seth took a run at Lexi who promptly flipped him over her hip and slammed him to the mat. "See how she shifted her feet and her body with purpose?" Bret asked. "There wasn't any hesitation in her footwork or her movements. That confidence allowed her to make the quick slam to the mat?"

Amber nodded.

"Lexi." He pointed to Amber. "Five minutes showing her proper footing and positioning. Then I want to see a good hip toss."

Amber looked from Bret to Lexi and felt as if she was going to cry. She'd spent the last two hours having Bret criticize everything she did and her confidence was now at an all time low. Apparently, when it came to The Hitman she couldn't do anything right.

"It's okay," Lexi patted her on the shoulder. "Try not to take what he says too much to heart. Dad's rough and freaking demanding as hell, but he means well and in the end he will make you better."

Amber nodded. "I know, but right now I really feel like a piece of crap."

"Believe me when I say been there, done that." Lexi replied. "Look, I know it sucks now, but I promise you'll be better for it. Now let me show you this."

Five minutes later Amber positioned herself as Lexi instructed. Lexi came at her and remembering everything she was taught, Amber flipped Lexi to the mat. "Good," Bret praised "Again. This time with Seth."

Seth moved into position and went for her and Amber flipped him just as she had Lexi. "Excellent." Bret lauded. "I'm glad to see you're a quick study. Now let's do it a few more times and then we'll move on."

* * *

An hour later Amber found herself standing outside the ring looking in at where Lexi and Roman stood taking instruction from Bret.

He moved back to stand next to Amber. "Okay." Bret began. "You need a signature move, a submission move, and a finisher. Your signature move could be either one of the others or something entirely different. What's your signature move right now?"

Amber shrugged. "I don't really have one. You know, after thinking about it, I'm really starting to believe they never meant for me to be more than a jobber, because I'm realizing that I really only know the basics."

"Well, we're going to change that," Bret said.

"We'll start with your finisher." Lexi grinned. "You're gonna love this. I got permission from Chris to show you his codebreaker."

Amber's eyes widened. "You talked Chris Jericho into letting me use one of his signature moves?"

Lexi's grin widened. "Technically, I didn't really need to get his permission since it's a regular wrestling move, but since I want to use the name, and that is his, I asked him." She moved into the middle of the ring with Roman. "Now watch." Roman positioned himself near the far ropes."This move is easier to do for women if you get a running leap," Lexi instructed as she backed up. "When you're about a foot away from your opponent you're going to leap and plant your shins against your opponents upper chest." She took off at a run, leaped, and Roman caught her, holding her in place.

"Note how my knees are high enough up that it looks like his head is between my knees."

Amber nodded as she studied the move..

"Good, Then you placed your hands on his shoulders at the base of the neck, so it appears that you have your opponent by the neck." Lexi placed her hands on Roman's back. "This is important. You don't really want to grab the neck because the jerking motion could injure your opponent if you do. So, at this point you pull toward you as you fall backward and bring your opponent down with you."

Only instead of Lexi pulling him back, Roman slowly eased her down the front of his body and took a kiss from her.

"Focus, you two," Bret ordered.

Lexi grinned up at Roman then stepped away. "Sorry, dad," she murmured. "Okay, so let me do a run through." She moved back and took a running leap at Roman. This time, she landed on him mid-chest, grabbed his shoulders and pulled as she fell backwards to the mat. Roman played his part, followed her down then fell away.

Lexi rolled onto her knees, glanced at Roman then over to Amber. "It's that simple. Though you do need your opponent to sell it." She angled a thumb at Roman. "Better than he just did."

Roman growled as he bear hugged Lexi and took her back down to the mat. He was on top of her in an instant. "You mocking my acting skills, woman?"

She grinned up at him and snagged a handful of his hair. "Now why would I do that?"

"You know how I feel about the hair. Let go before I beat your ass right here in front of your father."

Her look was wry as she grinned up at him. "I dare you."

"This is why we never let them spar together," Seth said to Bret. "Nothing ever gets done."

Bret shook his head. "You'd think that after two years together they'd have cooled off a bit."

Sika laughed low and deep. "That's my boy, always the romeo."

"And apparently, he's still able to enchant my daughter," Bret said even as a slight grin tipped his lips. He slapped a hand on the mat. "Hey. You two can make me another grandchild later. Right now we have work to do. Focus before I douse you both with a bucket of cold water."

Roman pulled back, and broke into a grin as Lexi busted into a laugh. "Yeah...um...sorry about that," she replied as Roman helped her to her feet.

"Right," Bret mumbled. "Now if you two are done with the foreplay can we please work with Amber? She is the reason we're here, remember?"

* * *

Amber collapsed onto the bed and groaned. "I haven't worked like that since I was back in developmental."

Seth eased down next to her. "Yeah, but you learned learned a lot of great stuff today."

"True." she rested her chin on the back of her hands as she stared absently at the wall. "You know, he warned me that I wasn't going to like him much, and he was right." She sighed. "I knew he was trying to help, but I really hated him for tearing me down earlier."

Seth rubbed a hand along her back. "I know how hard that was for you. I wish I could have done something to make it easier."

She rolled onto her back and looked up at him. "You did." She reached up and cupped his bearded cheek. "You were there, by my side. You encouraged me and supported me and I love you for it."

"I love you too, baby." He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. "So are you going to keep training with the Hitman?"

She appeared to consider his question, her brow knit in concentration. "I'd be crazy not to, but I'm not sure if I can deal with him cutting down everything I do."

"Just remember he's doing it because he wants to make you better and I'll be there right by your side."

Her brow smoothed over with his statement. "That automatically makes it easier to deal with."

"You know what will also make right now better?"

"What?" she asked, though she had an idea of what he was thinking.

"Why don't we grab a shower?" He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Then I'll give you a back rub." He kissed her nose. "Then I'll make you forget all about this afternoon for awhile." His lips hovered above hers. "What do ya think?"

She gave him a wry grin. "I think I like your idea...a lot."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"Ms. Star?" The secretary called to Amber. "Doctor Moreno is ready for you."

Amber stood and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. Fear and dread flowed freely through her until she shook. "I know I said I wanted help and I do, but I'm not sure I can do this."

Seth pulled her against him, holding her tight. "I know you're afraid, but you have to find the courage within yourself to face this. After what happened a few days ago you can't afford to back out."

She nodded. "I know and I will, I'm just scared of what she's going to do to me."

"Whatever she does it will be with the intent of making you healthy again." He pulled her to arm's length. "I love you and I'll be in the waiting room if you need me."

She lifted a shaky hand and threaded it through her hair before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you." Then taking a deep breath, Amber opened the door and stepped into the doctor's office.

A middle aged woman with long dark curly hair and glasses stood up from behind her desk and smiled. "Come in Amber." She motioned to an empty chair. "Please have a seat."

On shaky legs, Amber crossed to the chair and sat, then placed her hands in her lap.

"So," Doctor Moreno began. "Lexi has filled me in on the Christmas Eve incident." She leveled a look at Amber. "She's very concerned and rightly so."

Amber nodded. "I know she is and I'm honestly not sure what came over me that night. I'd never considered suicide before."

"What made you think of it that night?"

Amber thought back on that night. "I don't know for sure. I just felt so lonely. It seemed that everyone had turned their backs on me. Or at least it felt that way." She began to fidget now. "I now know that all I needed to do was admit I needed help and they would have been there, but in the moment I really felt alone."

Doctor Moreno tapped her pen on Amber's chart. "Why do you think you need help?"

"My mind...it has this way of twisting events around until I've convinced myself that whatever the situation is, it's my fault. Even when I try not to, I'll worry about stuff that's out of my control."

"Does this worry you do interfere with your sleep or you relationships with others?"

Amber nodded. "I have terrible insomnia and I have a bad habit of pushing people away."

Doctor Moreno cocked her head to the side. "When do you first remember this habit of feeling guilty?"

"After my father died," Amber replied and immediately felt the tears well. This was exactly what she didn't want to talk about and she knew, was exactly what she _needed_ to talk about. "I was eighteen," she offered.

Doctor Moreno arched a brow. "How did he die?"

Amber blinked at the first tear fell and the memories she desperately tried to bury slowly began to surface. As hard as she'd tried, she couldn't outrun her past. It was time to stand and face it head on...

* * *

Seth let out a heavy sigh and tossed the magazine onto the table before glancing at the clock high on the wall. He'd skimmed damn near every magazine in the place, even taken a 'do you have a good boyfriend' test in some girly magazine in an attempt to amuse himself, yet his mind continued to wander back to Amber. It had been a little over an hour and he was dying to know how she was making out.

Just as he stood to pace, the inner door opened and Doctor Moreno appeared. "Mr. Rollins?"

He spun on his heel to face her. "Yes?"

"Would you come in please?"

Nerves dancing, Seth headed into the room, where he found Amber sitting in an over sized chair. She appeared shell shocked and her eyes were red from crying. He reached for her and was more than a little relieved when she stood and slid into his embrace. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "It's okay."

She sniffled against him. "I know."

Seth eased into the chair and pulled Amber onto his lap.

"This first session was a little intense," Doctor Moreno began. "However, it was necessary in order for me to make an accurate diagnosis."

"And?" Seth asked as he pulled Amber a little tighter against him.

"And I believe that Amber is suffering from depression brought on by untreated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?" Seth frowned. "I thought that was something only soldiers suffered from."

"Anyone who has suffered from a traumatic event can suffer from PTSD," Doctor Moreno clarified. "Amber has suffered from several traumatic events over the past several years."

"But you can fix this, right?" Seth asked.

Doctor Moreno nodded. "I'm not sure fix is the correction word, but I can help her. We'll set up regular sessions and you're not in town, I run them via link like I do for Lexi, so you can stay on the road. I'm also going to prescribe some medication to start."

Amber shook her head. "I don't want to take any drugs."

Seth tightened his grip on her. "But it will help."

"And you won't have to stay on them forever," Doctor Moreno added. "This is a step I feel will help to jump start your recovery. Once you've been in therapy for a few months and I see you making progress, we'll start weaning you off the medicine."

She glanced from Seth to Doctor Moreno. "You really think I need them?"

"I do," Doctor Moreno confirmed. "They'll help you sleep and lift your mood and overall they'll make you feel better."

Amber sighed. "I _do_ want to feel better." She turned her attention to Seth. "What do you think?"

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I think you need to do whatever the good doctor thinks is best."

"Okay, I'll take them," Amber agreed. "I'll do whatever it takes to make myself better."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The next few days seemed to fly by as Amber continued to train under Bret's tutelage. Each day that passed resulted in her confidence growing with regard to her in-ring skills. With the codebreaker and the additions of the Boston crab for her submission hold and a flying clothesline and flying spinning heel kick for flash factor she knew she could now put on a great show.

She'd had two sessions with Doctor Moreno, had started taken her medicine and had spent the change of the new year lost in the throes of passion with Seth buried deep inside her body. Just when she'd finally begun to think that her life was turning around, they'd returned to work.

She sat inside Dean's locker room, dressed to valet him to the ring and suddenly feeling as if nothing had change. Why had she deluded herself into believing that they could alter management's opinion of her? If they ever allowed her to get back into the ring all she'd ever be was a jobber.

Knowing the other option was for them to release her, she hoped to job for others. At least that way she could stay on the road with Seth for awhile. Maybe they could eventually buy a house near Lexi and Roman. That way when Alea reached school age and Lexi quit to stay home, Amber could quit too. They could finally have a baby and with Lexi's friendship she wouldn't be quite so lonely without Seth.

Lost in her thoughts she barely noticed the others slip into the room until Seth crouched in front of her. "Baby?"

She blinked at him as fantasy slowly faded back into reality. "Hey."

He grinned. "Hey yourself. What were you thinking just now?"

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because you looked really sad." He stroked a hand through her hair. "I don't want you sad, so whatever you were thinking I want to know so we can fix it."

Slowly her frown faded into a soft smile. "I was just thinking about work and my future with the company."

"A future that's about to get a whole light brighter," Lexi said.

Amber jerked her attention from Seth to Lexi. "What do you mean by that?"

"She mean," Roman proceeded to clarify, "that she went to Stephanie and demanded a storyline with you."

Amber's eyes widened. "And they gave it to you?"

Lexi eased down onto the bench next to her. "Once I explained the logic in them giving us a dueling storyline they were all over it." She smirked. "Honestly, it should have been a no brainer from the start, but hey-" She shrugged. "'We have it now and that's what counts."

"So what's involved?" Amber asked as her excitement began to grow.

"Creative is working on the storyline even as I tell you this, but basically we're going to verbally jab at each other for a couple of weeks. Then we're going to start messing with each other's matches with the payoff being a singles match at Royal Rumble."

Shock coursed through Amber and she shot off the bench like a rocket. "Oh. My. God." She cut her attention from Lexi to Seth, then to Dean, and Roman and back. "I'm going to participate in a pay per view?"

Lexi giggle. "You are. Management doesn't want me taking a loss on a pay per view, but a loss to you would hurt your momentum. So they're working on an angle for a disqualification. They seem to think that they could draw this storyline out for at least two pay per views."

Amber covered her mouth with her hands and gasped. "I can't believe this. Lexi-" she squealed then went to her friend and wrapped Lexi in a hug. "You did exactly what you said you were going to do. You got me my shot."

Lexi hugged her back. "And now you're going to capitalize on it."

* * *

_What do you have to say about Lexi Hart's allegations that you're in over your head and that you can't back up the tough talk?_

_Only this Josh...Lexi Hart has no clue how I have or haven't developed as a wrestler while she was gone. Personally, I'm not sure why she bothered to come back at all. After all, being gone for over a year, I'm sure her ring rust has ring rust. At this point she'd be best served to stay home bake cookies and take care of her daughter, because there's a new star shining in the diva's division and it's burning bright._

Amber finished watching the clip that would air on Smackdown, then donned her old Shield hoodie and pulled the hood down to hide her face. She glanced around, looking for any fans or press that might see her, then crossed through the secured area and entered Lexi and Roman's RV. She stepped inside and lowered her hood. "I really hate this sneaking around sh...crap," she said as she spotted Alea playing on the floor.

Lexi laughed. "Nice save and I know and I'm sorry you have to, but I promise it will definitely be worth it. That promo you cut for Smackdown on Friday was great."

"You saw it?" Amber asked as she eased on to the couch.

Lexi nodded. "My ring rust has ring rust." She laughed. "I liked it."

Amber returned her smile. "Are you sure? You know, It feels really wrong to be fighting with you, even fictionally."

Lexi scooped up Alea, settled into a chair and gave the baby her bottle. "I know you feel weird about this, but just remember, this is a storyline. It's not real and as long as we keep the lines of communication open everything will be great."

Amber sighed as she watched Alea squirm in Lexi's arms. "Yeah...I get that, but honestly, I'm finding myself a bit conflicted."

"About?"

"All of this." Amber motioned to the RV then out the window to the arena. "A few weeks ago I thought my life was over if I couldn't be a WWE superstar. After being away for two weeks and Seth proposing and then going into therapy...this just doesn't seem as important anymore."

Lexi arched a brow. "You don't want to be a superstar?"

Amber shook her head. "No I do, but it's just not the entire focus of my life anymore." She glanced down at her engagement ring then over to Alea. "I'm just realizing that I want more than just the stardom."

"What is it you want exactly?" Lexi asked.

Amber thought about Seth, their engagement and the fantasies she'd been having about their future together. It was funny, she mused, how a person's priorities could change within just a short amount of time. She'd always viewed wrestling as her way to escape the horrible life she'd had, but her life was already better than she'd ever imagined could be and it was all because of Seth. "I want the fame, the money, the husband and the baby. I want what you have only with Seth." She grinned now as she leaned back and spread her arms over the back of the couch. "I want it all."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Amber paced the short distance inside Dean's locker room as she listened to the crowd cheer for the pre show tag team match taking place. Roman and Seth were challenging the Real American's for the titles and from what she understood, they were slated to win. If all went well for the men, in a few months they'd drop the titles to the Usos and Roman and Seth would have an amicable split into singles careers.

She's heard the rumors that both men were headed up the roster and Roman in particular would, by the end of the year, be in the hunt for the championship. Of course she knew that in this company any storyline could change in a flash and wrestlers who were receiving push, could be dropped for damn near any stupid reason possible. For now she'd keep her fingers crossed for them.

"Would you stop pacing?" Dean grumbled as he sat on the bench, elbows resting on his knees. "You're making me nervous."

"I can't," Amber replied. "This is the single biggest match of my life. What if the fans hate me? What if something goes wrong?"

Dean opened his mouth to reply only to close it again when the door opened and Jill, Emma's assistant appeared. "Gorilla position, you guys."

Amber's heart skipped a beat and she wiped her sweaty palms on her towel before following Dean out of the room. As she approached Gorilla she found Lexi already waiting. "You look great," Lexi offered as she assessed Amber's new outfit. The two piece black gave a nod to her heritage with the Shield, but she wore shorts instead of cargo pants and wardrobe had added sparkles to her outfit.

"Thanks. So you you," Amber replied as she hugged Lexi, who wore her traditional Hart black and pink in the form of a spandex sleeveless bodysuit with a mesh middle. Like Natalya, she'd added bright pink highlights to her mahogany locks.

"You remember what we worked out?" Lexi asked as she pulled back.

Amber nodded. "We get fifteen minutes to put on a great show which will end as a disqualification when the boys get involved." No sooner had she finished her sentence then the crowd cheered and Roman and Seth's music filled the arena. The boys had won their match and would remain at ringside for the girl's match.

Lexi grinned at Amber as she took her position. "Remember to relax and have fun, okay?"

Amber nodded. "I'll try."

The boy's music died down and with seconds Lexi's music, a variation of her father's them blared through the arena and Amber watched as Lexi burst through the curtains and played to the crowd. There was no doubt in Amber's mind that the fan's loved Lexi. There also wasn't any doubt that she was about to receive a huge round of boos when she appeared with Dean. Though she'd come to realize that if the crowd invested enough to boo her, that meant they cared and maybe she could eventually sway them.

Lexi's music ended and Amber's new theme music began, some tinkerbell, girly crap she hated began to play. With Dean by her side, she moved through the curtain and into a wall of boos and jeers. "Just ignore them," Dean leaned in and whispered in her ear.

She nodded, then plastered a smile on her face and headed for the ring. No way was she going to let anything ruin this match.

Once inside the ring, the trash talking began, with Lexi throwing the first verbal jab. "I'm gonna make you sorry you decided to mess with a Hart."

"Really?" Amber narrowed her gaze. "Just be glad your daughter is too young to know that her mother is about to take the first of several losses in her washed up career."

The ref motioned for the bell to ring and immediately the girls locked up. The crowd cheered and chanted as Lexi easily slid Amber into a side headlock. For a moment Amber played into the power Lexi supposedly held over her before she placed a hand in the middle of Lexi's back and shoved Lexi forward.

Lexi caught the rope with her arm, spun and took a dropkick to the face that had her flipping backward over the top rope. Roman caught her and Lexi displayed a look of shock as she rubbed her chin.

"Come on," Amber yelled from inside the ring. "I thought you said you was going to make me pay?"

Roman mumbled something into Lexi's ear that caused her to nod, then she quickly rolled back into the ring. Before she could pop to her feet, Amber was on her, stomping down on her until the ref forced her to back up. Slowly Lexi got to her feet and when Amber went for a second drop kick, Lexi side stepped the move and Amber hit the mat. It was her turn to play up the 'ouch' factor and she did as Lexi dropped to her knees and wrapped Amber in a modified sleeper.

After a minute, Amber began to feign unconsciousness when Dean reached through the ropes and pulled Amber's leg onto the bottom rope, forcing Lexi to break the hold.

For several more minutes Amber took punishment from Lexi, making sure to give the veteran time to get over strong with the crowd. Then it was her turn. When Lexi ran at her, Amber grabbed her by the waist, launched her in the air over her head and Lexi hit the mat with her back. Taking the opportunity she moved to the outside of the ring, climbed the ropes and leaped off the turnbuckle for a Shawn Michaels style flying elbow. She made contact then quickly scrambled to her feet.

Playing her part well, using the ropes, Lexi staggered to her feet, turned and Amber ran at her, launching herself and pulling Lexi into a textbook codebreaker. Lexi played up the move perfectly, but before Amber to cover for the pin, Roman reached under the bottom rope and pulled Lexi to safety.

He barely had Lexi on her feet when Amber bounced off the far rope, ran across the ring and leaped through the ropes, taking Roman and Lexi to the mats. Seth moved in to help and Dean rounded the corner of the ring and began pounding on Seth. Amber staggered to her feet the same time Lexi did and the girls began trading blows outside the ring. All the while the ref had began to count. Though it didn't appear to matter to the girls and the announcers were quick to play up that fact.

Amber shoved Lexi against the ring, back first, then Lexi grabbed Amber by the hair and slammed her against the barrier. Meanwhile Roman had gotten to his feet and moved in to help Seth. With the three men brawling and Amber and Lexi in their own world the ref had no choice but to call for the bell.

"As a result of a double disqualification, this match has resulted in a draw," Lilian announced.

Ten minutes later, Amber burst through the backstage curtain with Dean and launched herself into Seth's arms. "Oh. My. God," she squealed as he held her. "That was freaking amazing." She turned and looked at Lexi. "I owe you such a huge thank you for this."

Lexi giggle as she pulled Amber into a hug. "You're so very welcome and you did fantastic out there. Management won't have a choice but to take notice of your new skills."

"Yeah, I'm sure you really made Bret proud," Roman offered.

"I know I'm proud as hell of you," Seth said as he gathered her against him for a second time. "And I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go celebrate."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Amber lay in bed and stared absently at the ceiling as her mind raced. So much had happened over the last few weeks. In just a matter of a little over a month she'd gone from a failed suicide attempt to being on her way to the top of the WWE Diva's roster. With the wild swings happening in her life, if she didn't know better she would have thought herself bipolar.

_We were very impressed with your performance this evening. Tomorrow, when you arrive in Pittsburgh we'll want to talk a little more about your future._ Stephanie's words pinged around inside her head like a rubber ball. She turned and stared at the empty spot on the bed where Seth should have been and her happiness faded just a little.

There had been little time for any real celebrating after the match as they had a RAW show in Pittsburgh the next night and needed to make the six hour drive. Only she and Dean had a live in-person interview at a local Philadelphia radio station the next morning. "I can stay and ride to Pittsburgh with you and Dean tomorrow," Seth offered.

Instead she'd convinced him to go with Roman and Lexi with the promise that they'd celebrate proper after the Smackdown taping on Tuesday. Now, she lay awake at five in the morning feeling just a little lonely.

She rolled over grabbed her phone of the nightstand and began to text Seth. _It's dark and lonely here without you. Missing you lots._ Sure, it was very teenage girl of her to miss him when she'd just seen him the night before and would see him again in a few hours, but she couldn't help how she felt. She set her phone on the table, yanked the covers off and climbed from the bed. In an hour she needed to be packed and ready anyway, so she might as well get a shower.

Twenty minutes later, she stepped out of the bathroom just in time to hear her phone beep. It was probably Dean, she mused, making sure she was up. Instead, the found a reply from Seth. _Missing u too. Can't wait until this afternoon when I can see you again._

Grinning, she eased onto the edge of the bed and began to text. _What are you doing up at this hour? You should still be sleeping?_ She hit send then proceeded to pack. Her phone beeped again.

_Slept on the drive here. Now Roman and Lexi want to sleep and Alea is awake. I volunteered to babysit so they could get some shut eye. Besides. I never sleep well without you._

In her mind's eyes she could picture him with Alea and her heart melted. He would make such an awesome dad some day. Hopefully, she'd be able to work through her issues so she'd be able to make a great mom too.

_What if this depression is hereditary?_ The thought popped into her head and refused to leave. Her father had been severely depressed and had committed suicide because if it. She'd follows damn near the same path. If it hadn't been for Lexi and Roman, she just might have.

So, what if her depression was hereditary? Could she risk bringing a child into the world knowing she might be setting it up to suffer? The thought of not being able to be a mom made her sad and she let out a long sigh. Before she allowed her mind to run with that thought and start twisting it, she made the decision to not worry about it right now. instead, that was definitely a question she'd ask Dr. Moreno.

It was later in the day as she sat in the back seat of the rental car and discussed her concerns with Zoe. "So I'm trying to keep my mind from getting all twisted on this, but it's hard."

"Are you taking the medicine your doctor prescribed," Zoe asked.

Amber nodded. "Yeah, and it does help. I think that it's probably what gave me enough clarity this morning not to totally send my thoughts spiraling out of control. Still, I am a bit concerned. If read that certain types of depression are hereditary.

"I'm definitely no expert," Zoe offered, "But I do agree that you shouldn't go getting all worried about it until you've consulted your therapist."

"Yeah, I know." Amber glanced at her cell phone and tried to stifle a sigh. They'd left the radio station by ten and had promptly driven right into a snow storm. What should have taken them no more than six hours had already extended past that time and they were still on the turnpike. She wanted to be with Seth. He was her touchstone, her rock. Besides, if this situation continued or worsened there was a good possibility they'd miss RAW tonight.

"Hey look," Zoe pointed to a set of flashing lights on a sign board. "Turnpike message."

Dean nodded to the radio. "Turn it to 1640 am."

Zoe dialed in the station. _Due to adverse weather conditions the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission has issued a road closure alert. Motorists currently driving the Pennsylvania Turnpike, are ordered to exit as soon as possible at the next available exit and seek shelter. Blizzard conditions have created slick roads and treacherous driving. Motorists are advised to stay vigilant until you are able to reach safety._

"Well that explains why we haven't seen very many other cars," Amber said.

Zoe turned the radio back to the FM channel and glanced at Amber then over to Dean. "This is bad."

"Tell me about it," Dean muttered. "I can't see a fucking thing."

Amber's phone beeped and she glanced down to find a text from Seth. _The weather is really bad. Are you guys ok?_

Amber glanced at the road, then back to her phone. _Fine for now. Roads are treacherous. Dean is trying to be careful._

She'd no sooner hit send when Dean's shout filled the tiny cabin. "What the fuck is up with that truck?"

"What truck?" Zoe and Amber said in unison.

"The one barrelling down on us," Dean said.

Amber's attention cut to the back window where she spotted the truck in question. It was indeed barreling down the hill, gaining on them with increasing speed. "Is he crazy?" Zoe asked.

Amber noted the flash of headlights and how the trucker blasted his air horn. "I think he has a problem," Amber added. "Uh Dean?" She murmured as her fear began to grow. "Can you get onto the shoulder?"

"What shoulder?" he replied, agitated.

"Maybe try the other lane," Zoe offered.

"I'm already trying," Dean snapped. "With the slick road I can't just cut into the lane like I normally would."

"Well you need to do something soon," Amber shot back as she watched the truck draw closer.

"Got it," Dean said, a hit of relief in his voice.

Only he didn't have it, Amber realize as the truck caught the back bumper of the rental car

"Shit!" Dean shouted as the car slid sideways and the passenger side impacted the front of the truck. The impact caused Amber to slam against the door, her head impacting the frame. Pain bloomed inside her head and stars appeared in her eyes as the sound of grinding metal filled her ears.

She heard someone scream, realized it came from her. The car shifted again on the icy road, the sound of metal gone, replaced for a moment with an almost eerie silence. Then they were weightless. The last thing she remembered was Dean yelling 'hold on', then everything went black.


	27. Chapter 27

_She was cold._

Amber opened one bleary eye and moaned as slowly the pain began to register throughout her body. She opened the other eye and gently turned her head, as she scanned her surroundings.

_What in the hell happened?_

Bits and pieces of memories began to assemble like a puzzle and adrenaline began to flow. The roads had been bad and they'd been in an accident, but where were they now? She turned and lifted her arm to rub away the frost from the cracked window and froze as pain lanced through her. A gasp tore from her lips and she grabbed for her arm.

Careful, she pressed fingers along her flesh and winced as she quickly realized that the bone was probably broken. At least it hurt as if it were broken. Using her right arm instead, she rubbed at the glass and peered out. The car appeared to be buried to its axles in the snow, but it was what she saw above her head made her heart pound with fear. They were in some sort of ravine at least two stories below the roadway and well out of sight.

Slowly, she scooted to the other side and repeated the process against the nearly shattered back door glass. On the passenger side the car rested against some trees and they appeared to be on the edge of a forest. Meanwhile the snow continued to fall at a furious rate and was quickly covering the windshield. _Dear God!_

She moved back to the middle seat and reached over to pat Dean on the shoulder. "Dean?"

When he didn't move she shook him gently. "Dean?"

"Huh?" Dean murmured and opened an eye and immediately lifted a hand to his head. "What the fuck happened?"

"We were in an accident," Amber replied. "Are you hurt?"

"I-I don't know," he mumbled and began assess. It took only a moment for Amber's worst fear to surface. "Argh! Fuck!" Dean yelled as he reached for his leg. "My leg is trapped and I think its broken."

He leaned forward and yanked at the dash that appeared to have collapsed around his leg. When he pulled his hand back, it was covered in blood. "Oh God," Amber gasped. "You're bleeding. Is that from your hand or you leg?"

Dean shook his head. "My leg I think." His gaze drifted toward Amber then his eyes widened. "Shit! Zoe!" He reached for where she leaned against the passenger door, unconscious. "Zoe? Baby are you okay?"

Amber shifted to check on Zoe and her heart stopped. "Dean...there's blood in her ears."

"There's blood trickling from her nose too," he replied as he looked at Amber over the seat. "Zoe? He shook her gently. Baby wake up."

With her good hand, Amber reached over the seat and pressed a tentative finger to Zoe's neck. _Thank God!_ Relieved to find a slow and steady pulse, Amber blew out a breath. "She's alive."

"But doesn't bleeding from the ears and nose indicate brain damage?" Dean asked.

"I think so," Amber replied then scrambled to find her bag. "We have to get out of here." She reached for her phone and groaned when she realized she had no signal "My phone has no signal. What about yours?"

It took a moment for Dean to locate his phone. He glanced at the screen. "God damn it." he growled and nearly threw his phone across the car.

"No service?" Amber asked as resolve began to set in.

"No...damn it." Dean replied. "This is just fucking great. I'm trapped. Zoe is unconscious and we have no cell service. This car doesn't have that Onstar service, so I don't know that we have much of a choice but to wait until someone finds us."

Amber peered through the window and observed their situation. She couldn't see any cars on the road above, which probably meant even if there was a car that drove by, it probably wouldn't see them. She wasn't sure how long they'd been sitting, but there was already a thin layer of snow covering the vehicle which meant they'd be buried and hidden from view very soon.

If they tried to wait for someone to find them, more than likely they'd freeze to death first. "We can't just sit and wait for someone to stumble across us," Amber argued as she began searching the back seat for what she hoped would be a latch that would open into the trunk. She had an idea.

"You have a better plan?" Dean asked.

"Maybe," Amber replied as she searched for the latch. She thought about Seth and her heart hurt with the knowledge that what she was about to do might end up causing him so much pain. The last thing she'd ever want would be to hurt him. "Zoe has a head injury. She will die if we don't get her help."

"How in the hell am I supposed to get her help when I'm stuck?" Dean argued.

Amber shook her head. "Not you...me." She found the latch and pulled the seat back down, revealing the inside of the trunk. Doing her best to ignore the pain in her arm, she pulled on the suitcases, dragging them into the cabin of the car. "Here." she opened the case and began handing him articles of clothing. "Layer these over yourself and Zoe. Hopefully, it will be enough to keep you warm."

"What do you mean you?" Dean asked as he began draping the clothing over Zoe's body. "What are you going to do?"

Amber took the thin magazine she'd picked up at the rental agency and cupped it around her bad arm, then draped her purse over her so it rested across her chest and began wrapping the strap around the magazine to help hold it in place. "I'm going for help."

"What?" Dean's eyes widened. "No. You can't. There's a blizzard out there. If you go out there you could die."

She was well aware of that possibility, but staying put wasn't an option. Not when Zoe and Dean both needed immediate medical attention. "If we stay here, we _will_ die," Amber argued as she pulled an extra sweatshirt over her head, then tugged on her coat. "We'll freeze to death before anybody finds us. I can't let that happen."

"Amber-"

"No, Dean." She shook her head. "I still have both my legs and one good arm. I'm our best bet for finding help."

"What if something happens to you?" Dean asked. "We don't know where we are or how treacherous the terrain is. For all we know you could be walking right into your death."

"I realize that, but it's still a better option than staying put. Even if I only make it up to the road, maybe it will be enough to give me cell service and I can call for help." Amber argued, then paused as she stared at Dean. "I have to try. I can't just sit here and hope Zoe will make it until help arrives and what if that blood on your hand came from a compound fracture in your leg? You might bleed out before help arrives." She shook her head. "I can't live with the guilt of knowing I sat here and did nothing and let you both die. I'm going. If I don't make, it, then at least my death won't be for nothing." She blinked now and fought back a fresh batch of tears. Not like it would have been a few weeks back.

"What about Seth," Dean asked and she noted the resolve in his voice. As much as he didn't like the situation, he knew she was right. She was their best chance for rescue.

"Seth knows how much I love him and I know if something bad happens to me out there, he'll deal with my death a lot better than he would have a few weeks ago. He'll understand." She stuffed her phone into her coat pocket and zipped it closed, then eased the coat on, pulled on her hat and began working to wrap a scarf around her face.

"How are you going to get out?" Dean asked. "We have no power for the windows and the car is buried in snow. The doors won't open. If you break through the cracked glass we'll definitely freeze to death before help can get to us."

"I'll go through the trunk," Amber replied. "I remember reading somewhere that all newer cars have a glow in the dark handles inside the trunk that will release the trunk latch." She handed her glove to Dean. "Put this on my hand."

He did and watched as she squirmed into the trunk area through the back seat. "Amber."

"Yeah?" She paused and slid a quick glance his direction.

"Good luck."


	28. Chapter 28

Seth glanced at his phone, noted the time and opened another text to Amber. He hated that she, Dean and Zoe were driving in this weather and would feel so much better when they finally arrived. With it being five thirty, they only had two hours before they'd miss the show. He sent a text. _Are you still far away?_

He waited and when he didn't receive an immediate reply he sent another. _Are you okay?_

Still nothing and the fine hairs on his neck stood up. He dialed her number and cursed when it immediately went to voicemail. Then he called Dean and his panic increased when Dean's phone also went to voicemail. After getting the same result from Zoe's phone he scrambled to find Roman and Lexi.

He could only hope something was wrong with his phone because the alternative was too terrifying to think about.

Seth barrelled into catering, glanced around and discovered Lexi and Roman in a corner where Kaitlyn was playing with Alea. He weaved around superstars, waved off Punk when he called Seth's name and raced toward his friends.

"Hey, Seth," Lexi's grin immediately began to fade as she looked at him. "What's wrong?"

"I can't get ahold of them." Seth held up his phone. "I've tried all three of their phones and all three go to voicemail." He shook his head, "Amber isn't answering my texts either. I'm hoping its just something wrong with my phone so I need one of you to try and call them."

Lexi pulled her cell from the diaper bag while Roman slid his phone from his pocket. "I'll try Dean."

Lexi nodded. "I'll try Amber."

Five minutes later Seth's mood has shifted from worry into full blown panic. All of them, including Kaitlyn, Nattie and Punk had all tried calling Dean, Amber and Zoe. No one had been able to reach them.

"We need to find Stephanie and Hunter," Lexi motioned to Nattie. "Will you keep Alea for a little while?"

Nattie nodded. "Go. I've got her."

Seth blew out a shaky breath as he followed Roman and Lexi out of catering. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something terrible had happened and he was powerless to do anything about it.

* * *

It took Amber a few minutes to find the trunk release, then with one hard, she yanked. Pain lanced through her and she took a moment to breath until it passed. Much to her relief, the trunk popped open. Grunting and groaning, she managed to pull herself free from the mangled wreck of a car and slipped into the cold. The frigid wind hit her square in the face and shuddered as it blew over the few areas of exposed flesh. She made sure the trunk was sufficiently closed she then slogged through the fresh knee deep snow, and began her trek. It didn't take long for the snow to wet her pants and she began to shiver as the cold seeped into her pores.

She eyed the road above and noted the steep drop off. It had to be at least two stories tall and somehow she needed to navigate it with only one arm. Don't think about it, she ordered herself. Thinking about how the odds were completely against her wouldn't be productive. She walked along the bottom of the embankment for a few yards to assess her obstacles. Then, not wanting to get too far away from the car, she chose her spot and using some tree branches and well placed rocks, she began to slowly work her way up the side.

The wind howled and her face felt like a block of ice as she blinked snow out of her eyes. Above her, the road appeared quiet with only the occasional sound of a vehicle driving by. Hopefully, if she managed to reach the top there would still be some cars to flag down. It would suck to go through all this work only to end up without help due to lack of traffic or cell service.

Doing her best to ignore the biting wind and frigid snow blowing in her face, she worked her way up the embankment. Pain sliced through her with every movement, but nothing short of losing consciousness would keep her from reaching her goal. Dean and Zoe's very lives depended on her succeeding.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been out in the elements, but her toes tingled inside her snow boots and her legs felt frozen. Then, her foot slipped and she slid back down several feet, gasping and grunting as she flailed and tried to catch herself. Her glove ripped and she nearly cried as her fingers raked against froze rock. Exhaustion fatigued her muscles and she closed her eyes as a sleepiness slowly seeped through her. It would be so easy to just close her eyes right now and take a nap.

The only problem was if she did that she wouldn't wake up. She didn't survive a suicide attempt just to end up dying in a blizzard. Amber sucked in a breath of icy air and began her climb again as she she slowly realized, this was the reason why she hadn't taken those pills. She'd decided that it simply hadn't been her time to go yet, but she hadn't known why. Now it all made sense. She'd been needed here to save Dean and Zoe and she sure as hell wasn't going to let them down.

Time felt as though it stood still, yet she focused only on her next move. It was all she could do. Thinking about the bigger picture, the overwhelming odds was counterproductive. Her focus slid into a zone where nothing mattered but the next painful move up. It wasn't until she hit flat land did she realize that she'd actually made it.

She spent only a moment on the ground before pushing too her feet and immediately falling to her knees. A cry tore from her as fresh pain cut through her frozen joints. She had no strength left, no reserve to tap. As she rested on her abused knees, Amber glanced up the road and her heart sank. Desolation met her desperation. She'd fought to get to this point and now there wasn't anyone to flag down.

She held back her tears and donned a new blanket of determination as she thought about Seth. No way had she come this far to leave him now. _There had to be someone...some place close. _She couldn't give up now.

She'd just managed to get to her feet again, when she spotted a vehicle coming around the far curve. Waving her good arm she began walking toward the vehicle. As it moved closer she could see it was a state plow truck and nearly sobbed with joy when it slowed then pulled to a stop.

The driver hopped out as she rounded the front of the plow. "What are you doing out here?" he asked.

Amber quickly explained the situation and guided him to the edge of the road where the car had gone off. She pointed to where the car was now nearly covered in snow with only a hint of the mangled black roof still showing.

"Good God," the driver murmured. "Okay..Okay….We'll get them help." He took Amber by the shoulders and steered him back to his truck. "Let's get you into cab and warmed up and I'll call for help."

An hour later Amber sat in the back of the ambulance with a warming blanket around her and a temporary splint on her arm. The back door opened and they medics slid the gurney holding Dean into the back. "Where's Zoe?" Amber asked.

"They took her in the other ambulance," the medic said.

Amber watched as the medics began assessing Dean who was now barely conscious. She leaned forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, He turned his head slightly toward her and gave her a small smile. "You did it," he rasped.

She grinned at him as tears welled. "Yeah, I guess I did. The worst is over, so just hang in there, okay?"

He gave her a small nod. "You ain't getting rid of me that easily."

As they worked on Dean she leaned back and closed her eyes. The nightmare was over. Her phone beeped and she fumbled to find it in her pocket and discovered a text message from Seth.

_We can't get a hold of you, Dean or Zoe. Is everything okay? _Finally she had cell service. She glanced down at her shaking and swollen hand. Text wouldn't be easy, but she couldn't call him right now. She needed time to get her nerves settled first. Calling him all upset and crying wouldn't do any of them any good. Carefully and with some pain, she fumbled to write the responding text. _No we're not. We've been in a car accident. I'm fine, but Dean and Zoe are hurt bad. In call you when I know more. Love U so much._ She hit send and watched as her hand continued to shake. Whether it was because she was still cold or from stress she didn't know.

_Love you too. How bad was the accident? U sure you're fine? How bad are Dean and Zoe._

Despite her now swelling and hurting fingers, she texted back. _It was bad. I'll explain later. Yes, I'm fine. Bump on the head. Probably a broken arm and some bruises and scrapes. Dean has serious leg damage. Zoe was unconscious and bleeding from her ears and nose. Pray for her. _

A few moment's later Seth replied. _We will. We'll be there as soon as the storm passes and the roads clear. Luv U._

_OK. Call U when I know more. Luv U. _She slid her phone back into her pocket, closed her eyes and leaned her head back as one of the medics began a second assessment of her injuries. She could hear the siren wailing, feel the vehicle moving and took a deep steadying breath. They were safe now.


	29. Chapter 29

_It was too quiet. _

After spending the last three hours having tests run, her wounds stitched and cleaned and her arm set, Amber now lay snuggled into the hospital bed and tried to sleep. Only she hurt everywhere and worse, every time she closed her eyes she relived the nightmare.

Despite the slight dulling of her senses by the IV induced painkillers, her mind still refused to stop processing the events. She still felt cold...could still feel the bitter wind blowing against her face, the burn of her bare fingers against the frozen rock. She could still see Zoe, unconscious and bleeding, feel the fear washing off Dean in waves. If she hadn't made it...

_But you did make it. _Her conscious shouted. _Be proud of that fact._

Mentally, she did feel damn good that she'd succeeded in getting them help, but it didn't help to alleviate any of the fear still stewing in the pit of her stomach. She might be well on her way to recovery, but Zoe and Dean weren't and that thought left her unsettled and worried. She'd asked about Zoe and Dean when they'd moved her into her room nearly an hour ago and received no answers. The only thing the nurses were able to tell her was that both Dean and Zoe were in surgery. In the meantime she'd simply have to pray that they would both be all right.

Desperate to take her mind off the situation, she scooped the television remoted with her bandaged hand and brought it to her casted one. The cast on her arm encased her from elbow through the palm of her hand to her knuckles. Which meant at least she had those fingers free to use, even if they were slightly swollen and sore at the moment. With minimal movement as possible, she pressed the button, turned on the television and began skimming channels.

Fleeting blips of network channels and cable stations passed by. Commercials about shampoo, adult diapers and some new prescription drug flittered into the screen and disappeared nearly as quickly. Then...there they were. It was the last hour of Monday night Raw and Roman and Seth were wrestling in the what she could only assume was the main event match. Amber watched as the boys worked against the Real Americans and she smiled just a little when Cesaro caught Seth in his infamous swing.

Seth once told her it was like being on a great roller coaster or tilt-o-whirl ride and had he not been in the middle of a match when it happened he'd enjoy it a whole lot more. Right now, Seth was doing his best to sell the move.

"King, we have some late word just in," Michael Cole announced as Antonio dropped Seth to the mat. "As we told the WWE Universe when we first aired, earlier tonight, Dean Ambrose, Amber Star and WWE executive Zoe Lynn were involved in a severe car accident while on their way to the arena." The camera cut from Seth tagging Roman over to the announcers faces.

"Well we have late word on the conditions of both Amber Star and Dean Ambrose. We understand that Amber suffered a slight concussion and a broken arm. She needed eight stitches to close a gash on her forehead and is dealing with hypothermia, frostbite and some minor cuts and abrasions. She is now listed in stable condition." Michael flipped over the paper. "We know a little less about the condition of Dean Ambrose in only that he's out of surgery and in critical but stable condition." Michael set the paper and the pen aside. "Unfortunately, at this time we still do not know the condition of WWE executive Zoe Lynn other that she's currently in surgery."

King and JBL both shook their heads. "I'm not sure we'll get anymore updates tonight before we go off the air," JBL added. "I'm sure the WWE will have something on their website tomorrow about all this."

"In the meantime," King said. "We need to seen good thoughts and prayers their direction."

Her eyes were drooping now as the painkiller began to take it's full effect and the announcers began to sound more like droning, bodiless voices set in slow motion. Fearful that her dreams would return, or new ones would form because of the accident, she fought against sleep as she watched the match play out. It was a battle she knew she wasn't going to win.

The last thing she remembered was seeing Roman spear Swagger and get the win.

* * *

With her hand now only partially wrapped, Amber struggled to hold the fork as she forced herself to try and eat the hideous hospital food. She wasn't much in the mood for food, but she knew after everything she'd been through, she needed to eat. Seth would no doubt force feed her if he learned she wasn't eating.

A quick sharp pain lanced through her broken arm and she set down her force and stared at the cast. They'd warned her about phantom pains as her body began to heal. She just hadn't expected them to be quite so...painful. She looked at her opposite hand and studied the scratches and bruises covering her swollen fingers. She'd abused her hand terribly while in her search for help. It actually amazed her that she could move them at all.

The door swung open and Seth appeared. She noted the quick flash of fear in his eyes immediately followed by sudden relief as watched her. Roman and Lexi stepped in behind him. He reached the side of her bed, wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "Okay...I feel better now that I've seen you." He pulled back, cupped her face in his palms and assessed her yet again. "I was afraid that maybe you were holding out on me and you were hurt worse than you were letting on, but you actually don't look too bad."

Amber lifted her casted hand and swiped his hair from his face. "I'm fine."

"Thank God," he replied. "Have you heard anything about Dean or Zoe?"

"I can answer that." Hunter walked in. "Dean and Zoe are both in intensive care. Dean has a concussion, a couple of bruised ribs and a compound fracture to his left tibia and fibula. He suffered quite a bit of blood loss. He went into surgery not long after they got here last night. According to the doctors for a time they thought they might have to amputate, but it seems that's not necessary now. From what I understand he will regain full function of his leg and at some point will be able to resume wrestling, but it's going to be a very long recovery period for him.

"Dean's not going to be happy about that," Roman muttered.

"At least he's here to be unhappy," Lexi reminded.

Everyone nodded and Amber asked. "What about Zoe? Last night, before they drugged me up on painkillers, I asked about here and they couldn't tell me anything."

Hunter sighed and shook his head. "Zoe...um...Zoe's situation is a lot more complicated and well...frightening.

"Why?" Seth asked as he slid onto the bed and wrapped an arm around Amber.

"Zoe currently in a coma and on life support," Hunter replied. Amber noted Lexi's gasp and how Roman immediately tugged her against him.

Doing her best to hold back tears, Amber closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "It was her side of the car that the truck slammed into." She could hear the metal grinding, the screams and then the silence and she shuddered. "Do they think she's going to wake up?"

Hunter shook his head. "They don't know. They did the surgery last night in order to insert a tube for draining off the extra fluid building up on her brain. They also removed a small section of bone to help alleviate the pressure from her brain swelling. Even if she does wake up, there's a good chance she will have suffered some brain damage.

Amber let the tears flow now. She'd tried so hard to get them help, and to find out it still might not have been enough was devastating.

"The only thing we know for sure," Hunter continued. "Is if you hadn't risked your life and gone for help, she and Dean would both be dead right now."

"Wait?" Seth's gaze jerked back to her. "What does he mean you went for help?"

"She didn't tell you?" Hunter asked.

Seth, Roman and Lexi shook their head. "Well, I guess she's too modest to say anything," Hunter nearly chuckled. "Our girl here is a real and true hero. The car ended up off the road in the woods about twenty feet below the road. Even with a broken arm she climbed out the trunk, into the storm then trekked through knee deep snow and driving winds and climbed up the two stories to the road where she flagged down a passing plow truck."

Seth's eyes widened as he lifted Amber's swollen hand and turned it over to look at her fingers. "Is that how your hand ended up injured."

Amber nodded. "After I saw the blood in Zoe's ears I realized that she'd was really hurt. If we waited for someone to find us she most certainly would have died." She sighed. "She might still die, but at least she has a fighting chance now." She looked up at Seth. "I realized that part of why I didn't take those pills last month was because it wasn't my time. God didn't want me yet because I still had a reason for being here. Yesterday I discovered what that reason was. If I'd died then Dean and Zoe would have also died. My reason for being here was to save them."

"I'm not going to ask about what you're talking, about," Hunter said. "Honestly, I really don't want to know. I just wanted to let you know that you've already made the local news and most of the on-line wrestling blogs have already picked up on the story. Therefore, WWE is going to be releasing a statement about what happened and the status of you, Dean and Zoe." He grinned. "Get ready, because your life is about to change in ways you couldn't possibly imagine."


	30. Chapter 30

_Two things: _

_1: __**WARNING:**__ Tissue alert ahead...you've been warned._

_2. I just have to share...in March I will be attending a meet and greet autograph session with our boys. I'm beside myself with excitement. Roman Reigns in person **fans self**. Taking my kiddos with me, so I can't go all fangirl in front of them, but inside I'm going to be squealing like a teenage girl. Pictures will follow! _

_Okay...on to the story...remember grab your tissues._

* * *

Chapter 30

"Easy," Seth warned as Amber swung her legs over the side of the bed and prepared to stand.

"I'm fine," Amber grumbled. "I've been getting up and down to go to the bathroom all on my own, you know." The moment she caught the wounded puppy dog look on Seth's face she sighed as guilt stabbed at her. _Damn it!_ Ever since the accident two days ago, her emotions were all out of whack. "Sorry. I know I'm being a bitch and I don't mean to be."

Seth grinned as he pulled her to him. "It's okay. Right now I think you have a right to be bitchy." He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, then another to her lips before he brushed her hair back. "As soon as you're better, I'm taking you to Vegas and we're getting married."

She arched a shocked brow and her lips slowly tipped into a wry grin. "Really? I don't get a say in this?"

He returned her smile with and even wider one. "Nope. You already agreed to marry me and at this point I don't care how it happens as long as it does and soon."

Amber lifted a hand and cupped his face, her thumb playing with his facial hair. She certainly didn't object to marrying him tomorrow if he wanted, but curiosity made her ask. "Why the rush?"

He snared her hand and pressed a soft kiss to her palm, then stroked his other hand through her hair before grazing a finger over the bandage on her forehead. Beneath it were eight stitches that she was sure would end up leaving a scar. It would serve as a permanent reminder of what she'd survived. "I don't want to ever have to worry about you like that again," he finally said.

His statement had her kitting her brow in confusion. "Marrying me won't prevent bad things from happening, Seth."

"No, but it will make me feel better," he replied.

How could she possibly argue with that logic? "Fine, but you have to deal with the wrath of your family when we don't give them the traditional wedding your mother is looking forward to."

He kissed her hard. "No problem. Now, since that's settled, how about I help you get dressed so we can blow this Popsicle stand?"

She nodded. "I want to see Dean and Zoe first."

Seth grinned. "I can make that happen."

* * *

She didn't look anything like Zoe, Amber decided as she stared at her friend. The person laying in the bed in front of her had Zoe's hair, but her skin was ashen, her face swollen and covered in scrapes and scratches. Her eyes were closed as she lay beneath the maze of IV's and breathing tubes, blood pressure and heart monitors. Except for the subtle rise and fall of her chest from the forced breathing of the respirator, her body didn't move. According to the doctors, Zoe still had brain activity and as long as she did, there was hope.

Tentatively, Amber reached out and touched Zoe's hand she felt the warmth and gained some reassurance. Still, she was struggling to come to terms with the situation. Her mind desperately wanted to twist events around and place the blame on her shoulders. _If she'd only gotten help to them faster. If she'd taken the front seat instead of Zoe. If she'd allowed Seth to stay and ride with them, then Zoe would have been in the back seat with her...and Seth would be lying in that bed instead. _

Her stomach churned at that thought and she'd immediately wrestled with the guilt of being relieved that it was Zoe instead of Seth. What kind of friend was she for thinking such a thing?

Unwilling to allow her to take on the guilt, Seth and the others continued to remind her that she'd done more than anyone could have possibly asked of her. They continuously bombarded her with the facts and forced her to face the truth. If she hadn't gone for help Dean and Zoe would both be in the morgue right now and despite Zoe's current condition, it was still better than being dead. It took some effort, but she managed to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

Amber sighed and glanced over her shoulder at Seth. "I just wish there was something I could do to make this better."

Seth placed his hands on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Me too, but you got them help. You're praying for them both and you're supporting them. I don't know what else you can do."

Knowing Seth was right, she closed her eyes and nodded. Maybe it was because she'd suffered through the experience with them that she felt this strange bond with Zoe and Dean. Whatever it was, she'd been doing everything she could to help them both, despite her own injuries.

She could still see the look on Dean's face when she walked into his hospital room with the others and Zoe's doctors. They'd asked the doctors to wait to tell Dean all of Zoe's condition until they could be there to support him.

Her heart hurt as she remembered the initial moment of shock, then the mix of tangible and intangible pain that danced across his grief stricken face while the doctor's explained Zoe's dismal prognosis. The utter devastation in his eyes as he'd sent everyone away in a fury of rage that sent his tray of food crashing to the floor anything that was within his reach flying. The others obliged him. Maybe because they'd known him longer and understood him to be a loner who needed to handle things in his own unique way. Only something deep inside Amber screamed for her to stay. She held her ground and refused to go, waving Seth away when he urged her to give Dean some space.

Space, she understood, wasn't what he needed right now. Not when he was probably feeling completely alone and horribly crushed by the weight of Zoe's prognosis. Instead, she'd slipped onto the edge of his hospital bed, reached for him. He'd fought back, screaming obscenities and swearing at her, but she'd held her ground, determined to give him not what he wanted, but what he needed.

It wasn't an easy battle she waged against him, but in the end, the crew had eased back into the room to find Dean sobbing like a small child as Amber cradled him against her chest.

Her heart broke for him as she absorbed his grief and pain and she'd simply held him until his tears ran dry. She knew from experience that he'd desperately needed to purge some of those emotions. The loneliness and helplessness he felt wasn't something that would go away and from this point forward he was going to need all the support they could give him.

Whether, in the end, Zoe lived or died, it was going to be a long, painful struggle for him and that struggle would be made just a little easier if he allowed them to be by his side. When his tears subsided and she'd finally let him to pull away, she hid the small smile threatening to escape as she watched shock entered his face at the sight of their friends now surrounding his bed. Lexi and Roman stood at the food of the bed, Roman had one hand on Dean's cast covered leg, and his arm wrapped around Lexi as she wept against his chest. Sadness and love lit his eyes as he stared at the man he called brother.

Seth stood next to the bed, resting a hand on Dean's shoulder as he exchanged looks with Amber. Heartache weighed heavy in the silent air as they simple huddled together as a unit, knowing that this situation, as heartbreaking as it was, could have been so much worse. The pain of that knowledge spread over each and every one of them as they did their best to give strength and encouragement to Dean. They weren't just a group of friends, Amber realized. They were family and they would always be there for each other and together they would get through this horrible tragedy...no matter the end result.

* * *

_We're coming up on the end soon. Once this story is finished I'm afraid I'll have to step away for a little while to go make some actual money writing instead of playing on here with you guys. I have so much fun writing the Shield fiction, but I have two birthdays coming up and that meet and greet ticket to pay for, so work will need to come first for a little bit. And I just want to say thank you again to everyone who follows, favorites and comments on my stories. You're all the reason I keep coming back to write. _

_Sienna_


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 32

With a pink sleeve over her cast, Amber stood hand in hand with Seth on the stage behind Stephanie as RAW! went on the air. The week and a half since she'd been released from the hospital was supposed to have been time for her rest and recover. Instead it had been a whirlwind of appearances and interviews for blogs, podcasts, and even television talk shows.

Management gave Seth time off to be with Amber and, as promised, he'd whisked her away to Vegas where they'd gotten married at the top of the Stratosphere. Family and friends who couldn't make the trip on nearly no notice were able to watch via video feed as she recited her vows and tried not to cry when Seth slipped the ring on her finger.

Their wedding photo, she mused was one for the ages. She'd worn a simple white cocktail dress and a lace white sleeve over her cast. Her hair had still been in that hideous three shade color of white, black and red and didn't quite hide the bandage on her forehead. Seth being Seth, dressed in Shield black with black jeans,a black t-shirt and a black sport coat over top and his favorite skater shoes. He'd left his wild two-toned hair down and upon her request, had at least trimmed his beard. Their picture would not doubt be a conversation starter. Still, she hadn't really cared what they'd worn or what they looked like. The only thing that mattered at the time...the only thing that still mattered to her was Seth and becoming his wife.

"I know we're normally all about the wrestling around here," Stephanie began, pulling Amber back from her wayward thoughts. "However, under the circumstances, we wanted to take a moment to honor and give thanks to one of our own." She motioned to the titantron and Amber turned her head to watch as still pictures, provided by dashboard cameras from the police cruisers at the accident scene flashed across the screen. Images of medics helping her to the ambulance, of Dean and Zoe being stretchered up the embankment and into the waiting ambulances appeared. Amber shivered as she remembered the wicked wind, the biting cold and the fear. It was a memory that many a night, haunted her dreams, and left her crying into the darkness and reaching for Seth.

"On a cold and snowy day two weeks ago, Dean Ambrose, along with his real life girlfriend and WWE fan liaison Zoe Lynn and WWE Diva Amber Star had left a fan event in Philadelphia and were heading to Pittsburgh for a Monday night RAW! show when road conditions quickly deteriorated."

Amber glanced over to where Dean stood on crutches between Lexi and Roman, the look on his face still one of shock and grief. While Zoe's doctors were slowly seeing more brain activity as the swelling subsided and her body began to heal, there hadn't been any significant change in Zoe's condition. She was still in a coma and on a respirator and still having daily dances with death as she battled blood clots, infection, and the risk of pneumonia. Every day Amber sent up a small prayer for Zoe's recovery and hoped that would be the day Zoe would awake. The alternative was just too horrible to consider.

Stephanie continued. "After being clipped by an out-of-control tractor trailer, their vehicle left the road and ended up in wooded ravine about twenty feet below grade. Recognizing the seriousness of their injuries and the situation as a whole, Amber, decided to risk her life to go for help. Despite her own injuries and the danger, she left the relative safety of the vehicle, trekked through knee deep snow and blizzard conditions and climbed up that twenty foot wall of rock to eventually flag down help."

A picture of Zoe flashed across the screen. "While Amber and Dean both sustained serious injuries, I am happy to report that they are well on their way to recover. Unfortunately, at this time we still have no good news for Zoe Lynn. As of when we checked a few hours ago, she was still in a coma. Her condition unchanged. We here at the WWE want to ask the WWE Universe to extend their thoughts and prayers to Zoe as she continues to fight for her life."

Next a picture of Amber slid across the screen. "Now, despite Zoe's condition it is important for us to recognize that had Amber not risked her own safety, we would be standing here today grieving the loss of all three members instead of recognizing Amber's amazing feat." Stephanie turned to Amber. "I ask the WWE Universe to please join me in giving a warm thank you to Amber Star. WWE's real life hero."

The crowd roared as Amber lifted her cast arm and waved to them. It felt strange to be recognized for something that to her wasn't anything more than a need to protect her friends. Had Dean been capable, he would have done what she did. So would any of the others if they'd been in her position. Everyone kept talking about how she'd saved their lives that day, but that had been her goal and they still weren't all that sure Zoe would make it.

While it hadn't exactly been how she wanted to achieve notoriety, she had it now and there wasn't any turning back. The fame from her so-called heroic feat had landed her a spot on the next season of Total Divas and reps from WWE films were wanting to talk to her about a movie role.

With a new husband, a renewed career, and a fresh perspective on her life in general, she was more than ready to take on the challenges about to come her way. Once her arm healed, her character would return to a fan base that now loved her and would hopefully shine like the star she always dreamed of being. Hopefully, by then Zoe would be awake and on her way to a full recovery. If by chance she couldn't beat the odds, then from this point forward Amber would dedicate every match, every interview, everything she did for the company to her friend Zoe Lynn and she would honor her friend by being the best she could possibly be.

It had been a rough couple of months and it was definitely a rocky way to start the rest of her life, but she was still here to live that life and by God she was going to do everything she could to make the most out of every day she was given.

* * *

_Okay, so this is the end of Amber's story. Now I know ya'll probably want to kill me for leaving Zoe in a coma, but after I take care of some business I'll be back with another story and will tie up the lose ends I'm leaving open with Zoe. Like the terminator said...I'll be back!_

_Oh and thanks again everyone for reading, favoriting and commenting. I love hearing from ya'll_


	32. Chapter 32

Hey all,

I have just created my first ever poll. It has to do with my next story with Dean. Please go check it out and give me your opinion so I can decide which direction I want to take the story while I'm working on my other projects.

Thanks,

Sienna


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